Worst Films of 2024
Every year sees its usual round of cinematic duds and 2024 is no exception. Our writers did their duty and sat through these films: hopefully their reviews will save you from wasting time and money on the year’s worst films.
Perhaps the biggest disappointment was Harold and the Purple Crayon (PG, Grade: C-). Based on a whimsical children’s book, this clumsy, charmless film fails to deliver any of the magic of the original source material. It’s also surprisingly violent and is not suitable for young kids – or parents who want something entertaining to watch with the family.
The year’s most spectacular failure could be Joker: Folie a Deux (Restricted, Grade: D). It’s difficult to imagine that anyone thought a musical set in a prison would work but they were proven wrong here. Our critic describes it as “a ponderously self-obsessed karaoke playlist of old crooner hits set in a penal institution”. The film is tedious, the negative content abundant, and the level of interest for the general population is nil.
Marvel crashes and burns with Madame Web (PG-13, Grade: C-). Our editor complains that the film offers “an unimpressive antagonist facing a confused protagonist with three useless sidekicks”. The ridiculous plot featuring a woman with newly acquired precognitive powers could have been finessed into something interesting, but here it’s just a chaotic mess. Feeling her own flash of precognition, our editor predicts that the planned sequels will not be produced.
Legendary director Francis Ford Coppola tries to tell an ambitious story about a modern America built upon the Roman Empire in Megalopolis (Restricted, Grade: D). He creates a Republic sickened by corruption, populism, and murder but overdoes it with too many subplots and very abstract storytelling. Watching the movie feels, in Keith’s words, like “you took some expired cold medication and tried to read Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar while watching Chinatown”. It’s not an experience we recommend to anyone.
Named for a fictional character penned by a shy author, Argylle (PG-13, Grade: D) tells the tale of how her imaginary world intersects with a real-life covert operation. There’s a potentially good movie here – one that could have been tongue-in-cheek, witty, and light-hearted. Instead, this film is a jumbled, bloated mess featuring bad CGI effects and appallingly glamorized violence and mass death. We don’t recommend it for anyone.
Not even Jack Black, Jamie Lee Curtis, and Cate Blanchett can save Borderlands (PG-13, Grade: D). This story of a ragtag bunch of misfits hunting for alien treasure eschews comedy and fun for chaotic fights and explosions, all made worse by sloppy editing and truly terrible digital effects. The video game on which it’s based came out in 2009 and the game’s cut scenes look better than this messy, tedious film. Give it a miss.
It would take a miracle to make The Book of Clarence (PG-13, Grade: D) a good movie – and no miracle is forthcoming. This is the tale of an indebted “seller of herbs” who decides to compete with Jesus of Nazareth and start his own religion so he can raise enough money to save his skin. But the story lacks charm, sincerity, or even decent editing. Some viewers will find it a redemptive tale and others will find it blasphemous. Our editor simply finds it bloated, pretentious, and clumsy.