Harold and the Purple Crayon Parent Guide

Harold (Zachary Levi) enjoys a happy life between the pages of a book. His magical purple crayon allows him to draw anything he wants – and even to create two friends, Moose (Lil Rey Howery) and Porcupine (Tanya Reynolds). Harold converses with the narrator, known to him as the Old Man, but when the familiar voice goes silent, Harold decides he must head into the Real World to find him.

The Real World is filled with color, excitement, and surprises (especially for Moose and Porcupine who are now humans instead of animals) but Harold isn’t prepared for any of it. A car accident introduces Moose and Harold to Terry (a red-eyed Zooey Deschanel) and her son Mel (Benjamin Bottani). The young boy is fascinated by Harold’s magical crayon and the two soon become fast friends, despite Terry’s justified misgivings.

Unsurprisingly, chaos follows in the wake of the three original pals. Harold draws an airplane and writes Terry’s name in the sky, Harold’s drawings trash the store where Terry works, Mel uses Harold’s crayon to draw a terrifying flying spider, and Porcupine steals clothes and food while she tries to find her friends. But all those problems fade in comparison to what happens when Harold meets Gary (Jermaine Clement), a librarian and wannabe novelist, who is obsessed with making his fantasy world real. When he learns about the magical crayon, it looks like his dreams will come true…

I’ll be frank: Harold and the Purple Crayon is a terrible film. It’s only tenuously connected to the beloved children’s picture book and is not suited to preschool-aged fans of the simple story. This movie is geared towards elementary-school aged kids, who are young enough to overlook the multitudinous plot holes, dodgy digital effects, and painful acting. Zooey Deschanel looks like she’s suffering from toothache (or shame, it’s hard to tell), Tanya Reynolds twitches like an addict craving a fix, but the worst criticism must go to Zachary Levi. I know he’s a capable actor (he was lots of fun in Shazam!) but here, instead of projecting a sense of childlike wonder, he simply displays witless vacuity.

Another issue that will keep preschool viewers away from this film is its violence. There is no gore, but there are scenes of people (including a child) being chained to a wall, magic being used to split the earth apart by chasms of fire, and a magical duel in which men try to draw violent implements with which they can harm each other. It’s pretty run-of-the-mill kids movie stuff, but it isn’t suitable for little ones.

There is one more issue which might catch adults – those with Christian backgrounds will likely be offended when Gary the librarian paraphrases Christ and announces that “Upon this rock I shall erect my kingdom.” It’s an odd line in the film and won’t sit well with religious viewers. Otherwise, the script’s brief dips into existential questions are interesting and could have sparked more depth in the movie, but they are quickly abandoned for more loony action.

All in all, this is a profoundly unsatisfactory film that brings to mind a relative’s years of working for a senior politician. The politican’s office received thousands of letters, of which a small minority were incoherent and unhinged. They were referred to as “purple crayon letters” – a phrase that sums up this messy, tedious film.