Toys of Terror Parent Guide
If boring were a sport, this movie would take Olympic gold.
Parent Movie Review
In an attempt to bring their blended family together at Christmas, David (Dayo Ade) and his wife Hannah (Kyana Teresa) have brought all the kids up to an abandoned Victorian mansion they’ve been renovating. David’s daughter from his previous marriage, Alicia (Verity Marks) doesn’t want anything to do with the place, but Hannah’s two young children, Zoe (Zoe Fish) and Franklin (Saul Elias) find a chest of old toys that keep them entertained. There are other problems – the renovations aren’t nearly complete, and even with their contractor, Emmet’s (Ernie Pitts) help, the third floor is in a dangerous state of disrepair. And as Alicia is about to find out, this mansion was once a children’s hospital and is home to some terrifying history.
If boring were a sport, this movie would take Olympic gold – or it would, if it weren’t already concurrently competing for bad screenwriting. The dialogue is tremendously dull in that vaguely familiar way so common with lazy horror movies. The additional Christmas theming is not terribly helpful, since it just adds to the feeling that you’ve seen this all before. There’s your usual bad parenting, creepy kids, family tension, melodramatic teenager, spooky old house… Toys of Terror is a bad game of cliché roulette that somehow outstays its meagre welcome in a brisk 90 minutes. Not that it feels brisk when you’re watching it: the first half hour takes approximately a lifetime, and each subsequent act drags even longer.
In all fairness, I’m kind of surprised this film pulled down an “R” rating. While the content isn’t exactly fun, it isn’t gory or profanity-riddled enough to make it stand out from the crowd of PG-13 rated horror flicks. With no sexual content or drug use, this is definitely on the milder end of the genre. That said, there is some graphic violence which makes it unsuitable for younger viewers.
Personally, I’m surprised the haunted toys and ghosts even found the time to bother with this singularly uninteresting family. If I had my druthers, I certainly wouldn’t have had anything to do with them. Look, I’m a fan of dumb, goofy horror as much as the next guy – probably more, if my Halloween viewing habits are anything to judge by. But Toys of Terror doesn’t quite meet that “so bad it’s fun” threshold. It’s just so bad it’s bad. Boring, poorly written, poorly acted, and deathly dull. I suppose if you have a passion for poorly stop-motion animated toys inducing kids to leap out a window, this could just be the movie for you, but if that’s the case, I’d recommend seeking professional help.Directed by Nicholas Verso. Starring Dayo Ade, Burak Agan, Saul Elias. Running time: 99 minutes. Theatrical release October 30, 2020. Updated October 30, 2020
Toys of Terror
Rating & Content Info
Why is Toys of Terror rated R? Toys of Terror is rated R by the MPAA for some horror violenceViolence: A character swallows and chokes on a live spider. A man is bloodily impaled through the chest. There is a serious car wreck. An individual is attacked by a tree. Children are encouraged to jump out a window. An individual is repeatedly stabbed and falls out a window.
Sexual Content: None.
Profanity: There is one extreme profanity and six scatological curses. There are occasional terms of deity and mild profanities.
Alcohol / Drug Use: None.
Page last updated October 30, 2020
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This movie has some similarities to Child’s Play. The Christmas/Horror combination can also be seen in films like Black Christmas. A more child-friendly mix of holidays and Halloween is in The Nightmare Before Christmas. Sentient toys are featured in a more family safe story in The Last Mimzy.