The Last Mercenary Parent Guide
This film is less an action comedy and more a clown show with outbreaks of martial arts combat.
Parent Movie Review
When he got out of the secret agent business, Richard Brumere, AKA “The Mist” (Jean-Claude Van Damme) made sure his infant son, Archibald (Samir Decazza) would be provided for. In addition to a significant monthly allowance, Brumere also obtained complete criminal immunity – all part of a deal made with his old agency in the French government. But someone else has borrowed Archie’s identity and is using his immunity to protect himself as he engages in illegal international arms dealing. And “The Mist” isn’t about to let someone mess with his son – even if he’s never met him.
Now, this is rated TV-MA, which is extremely misleading. The only “mature” thing in this movie is Jean-Claude Van Damme, and that’s only because he’s 60 years old and increasingly unbelievable as an action hero. I’ve had this problem before with French comedies, but they always seem more goofy than funny. It’s like a clown show with outbreaks of martial arts combat – a truly bizarre combination.
Unfortunately, this strange tale goes on for nearly two hours, including a post-credit scene. Luckily, I remembered that Netflix has some good user options, including playback speed. I got through this by setting it to x1.25 speed – slow enough that I can read the subtitles, fast enough that the movie was over considerably sooner. I’ve never bothered to do this before, but frankly, I have other movies to review today, and this one was so catastrophically boring that it took a considerable amount of willpower to actually finish the show.
The film’s immaturity extends to its content – which is not all bad. On the plus side, apart from the half-dozen or so f-bombs, The Last Mercenary doesn’t contain anything worse than the average PG-13 action comedy. Van Damme goes out of his way not to kill anybody, which is not something you typically see in action flicks. On the downside, “jokes” like the ones heard in this flick are typically reserved for Barney the Dinosaur movies. I would have thought they were campy when I was nine, and nine-year-olds are famously immune to campy comedy.
Look, there’s no compelling content-based reason to avoid this movie, but that doesn’t mean I’m about to recommend it. It’s goofy, un-funny, and over-long. Even at double speed playback, this would be longer than I’d care to sit through. It’s a mishmash of stale cliches, irritating characters, and truly juvenile comedy. I would have had more fun vacuuming. At least that would have given me something to show for my time.Directed by David Charhon. Starring Jean-Claude Van Damme. Running time: 110 minutes. Theatrical release July 30, 2021. Updated July 30, 2021
Watch the trailer for The Last Mercenary
The Last Mercenary
Rating & Content Info
Why is The Last Mercenary rated TV-MA? The Last Mercenary is rated TV-MA by the MPAA
Violence: There are several scenes of stylized martial arts violence. An individual is shot. Several characters are tasered. One character is shown suturing a wound obtained in a knife fight.
Sexual Content: There are several lewd comments and suggestive jokes, none of which involve nudity. One character is seen in his underwear.
Profanity: There are seven sexual expletives and 22 scatological curses, as well as occasional uses of mild profanities and terms of deity.
Alcohol / Drug Use: Individuals are briefly seen smoking.
Page last updated July 30, 2021