Monster Hunter Parent Guide
This is a garbled mess of lazy cliches and bad ideas strung together on the bones of a successful game franchise.
Parent Movie Review
Captain Artemis (Milla Jovovich) is the head of an elite squad of US Army Rangers, known as Team A. Team B has gone missing under bizarre circumstances, and the only clue to where they are is in their last radio transmission, which mentions a bizarre storm. Now that they’ve found Team B’s last known location, though, it seems that they just vanished without a trace. But a storm is brewing over the horizon…and coming in fast. Although they make an attempt to run for it, Team A soon finds themselves tossed into the air by the unlikely electrical storm, only to wake up a world away from where they started. The first thing they learn about this new world is that it seems to have a healthy resident population of giant, dangerous, bloodthirsty monsters. The second thing they learn is that there’s no easy way back.
This movie was designed to give you a nasty headache. It doesn’t seem to have an editing team, just a maniac feeding film stock into a food processor. It’s choppy, jumbled, unclear, and aggravating – and that’s before it starts randomly going into slow motion. On top of that, it keeps emitting a high-pitched frequency to indicate imminent danger or some such, which doesn’t help at all, believe it or not. Were that somehow not enough, there are a few scenes with really aggressive strobing lights. This is a movie that wants you to suffer as much as its characters.
But wait – there’s more. More reasons this is an awful choice, that is. Fans of the games that inspired the film will probably hate this significantly more than I do, since I don’t have any emotional investment in the franchise. But rest assured, this sucks independently of the games. As a film, this is a garbled mess of lazy clichés and bad ideas strewn together on the bones of a successful and beloved game franchise. The characters have no depth, or indeed, character, and the plot is the kind of nonsense that should get you tossed out of the Writer’s Guild.
It’s not exactly child friendly either, with brutal gory violence and profanity. I mean, if you want to show your kids a movie that involves a man being consumed by the spiders hatching inside his body, then that’s your business. I’m just not going to recommend it. Look, life is hard enough as it is. There are so many good reasons to be aggravated and headache-y without deliberately subjecting yourself to more. If you’re really looking for something to do, go play one of the Monster Hunter games. It’ll last longer and, who knows, you might actually enjoy yourself. At least, you’ll enjoy yourself until you get locked into at wo—hour-long battle with some unholy abomination that’s way above your level and wants to eat you.Directed by Paul W.S. Anderson. Starring Milla Jovovich, Tony Jaa, and T.I.. Running time: 99 minutes. Theatrical release December 18, 2020. Updated December 16, 2020
Watch the trailer for Monster Hunter
Rating & Content Info
Why is Monster Hunter rated PG-13? Monster Hunter is rated PG-13 by the MPAA for sequences of creature action and violence throughout
Violence: People are frequently hit, clawed, eaten, or burned alive by giant monsters. Monsters are likewise stabbed, shot, blown up, and otherwise dismembered by humans.
Sexual Content: None.
Profanity: There are half a dozen uses of scatological profanity, and occasional uses of mild profanities and terms of deity.
Alcohol / Drug Use: Individuals are shown drinking a mystery liquid which is implied to be alcoholic.
Page last updated December 16, 2020
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Not all big dumb monster movies are this annoying. Godzilla: King of the Monsters is one of my all-time favourite action movies, and is well worth watching. The Meg is another option for fans of big scary toothy monsters. Other giant monster flicks include Rampage, Kong: Skull Island, and 2014’s Godzilla. A more kid-friendly option would be How to Train Your Dragon and its sequels How to Train Your Dragon 2 and How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World