Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire parents guide

Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire Parent Guide

This disappointing movie looks and feels like a bad Transformers flick, but without the robots.

Overall C

Theaters: A threat emerges from deep within the Earth, and only Godzilla and Kong combined can challenge it.

Release date March 29, 2024

Violence C
Sexual Content A
Profanity C+
Substance Use A

Why is Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire rated PG-13? The MPAA rated Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire PG-13 for creature violence and action.

Run Time: 115 minutes

Parent Movie Review

After Kong, Godzilla, and Mechagodzilla thrashed Hong Kong in Godzilla vs. Kong, an uneasy peace has been established. Godzilla remains on the surface, hunting and destroying other Titans. Kong has gone into the Hollow Earth, looking unsuccessfully for more creatures like him. The Monarch organization, meanwhile, is closely monitoring both Titans, fearful lest they cross paths again with dire consequences for humans caught in the middle.

Despite the relative tranquility, Dr. Ilense Andrews (Rebecca Hall) has become increasingly concerned about Jia (Kaylee Hottle), the young girl from Skull Island who can communicate with Kong. She’s struggling to adapt to her life away from home – but now there’s a new development. Jia started drawing strange triangles, which to Dr. Andrews’ eye, resemble the unusual readings Monarch has received at the monitoring station. Something is transmitting that signal, and that something is somewhere Hollow Earth. Worse, Godzilla is reacting to the signal, taking in as much radiation as he can. He’s getting ready for a fight, and if Monarch wants to find out who he’s planning to irradiate, a team will need to go into the Hollow Earth and find out.

Big monster movies are either about the monsters or the people. Big action romps like Godzilla: King of the Monsters are about how cool it is to watch two multi-story abominations level a major metropolitan area. Harrowing, tense, and emotionally loaded films like Godzilla Minus One are about the people struggling in a devastated world. This film, on the other hand, is about the studio’s finances. It diverges from the first two films in the current Legendary Films franchise, and that’s not a good thing. This movie looks and feels like a Transformers flick, just without the robots. Well, mostly without the robots. That’s just the tip of the issue though.

Despite being an absolutely ridiculous comic book of a film, Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire spends most of the movie following around four extremely dull characters: Dr. Andrews, who has two jobs - spew exposition and look worried; Jia, who has the same jobs but is deaf, and so exposits in sign language to the good doctor, Bernie (Brian Tyree Henry), who is responsible for annoying the heck out of you; and Trapper (Dan Stevens), who is in charge of accomplishing serious tasks. Despite his preeminence in the title, Godzilla gets maybe 15 minutes of screen time. Kong gets a little more, but you’re going to spend at least half of this movie with the four most crushingly uninteresting people you’ve ever seen. It’s not fun, believe it or not.

If boredom doesn’t deter you, the negative content likely won’t either. The film is lethal on a mass population level, but it’s only gory for the monsters. Presumably, the death toll for the film is in the hundreds of thousands, but that’s never mentioned by anybody, and the deaths are not seen on screen. Monsters are beaten, stabbed, torn apart, and thrown to their deaths fairly frequently. Despite all that carnage, there is thankfully very little profanity. The characters are too busy drily info-dumping gibberish at you to get up to much else – including drinking and smoking, which I don’t think anyone bothered doing. There’s also no sexual content, mercifully. The last thing we need from characters like this is procreation.

I like Godzilla. I mean, I really like Godzilla. I genuinely think that Minus One should have been nominated for best picture. King of the Monsters is one of the best big action movies made in the last twenty years. Sadly, I spent most of this movie checking my watch and praying for a quick death. Maybe I just couldn’t quite turn off enough of my brain to find the dumb fun in this, but trust me, I had it as off as it gets before losing essential functions. Maybe your brain numbing skills are more precisely honed than mine, but I wouldn’t bet the price of a movie ticket on it.

Directed by Adam Wingard. Starring Rebecca Hall, Dan Stevens, Rachel House. Running time: 115 minutes. Theatrical release March 29, 2024. Updated

Watch the trailer for Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire

Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire
Rating & Content Info

Why is Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire rated PG-13? Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire is rated PG-13 by the MPAA for creature violence and action.

Violence: Cities are destroyed on an ongoing basis, presumably killing hundreds of thousands people. Civilian casualties are not seen. Giant monsters are seen killing one another regularly, usually with large rocks or by throwing them off heights. Some are tossed into lava. One is torn in half. Several massive heads are seen on sharp logs. Giant monsters are also seen eating one another.
Sexual Content: None.
Profanity: There are four uses of scatological profanity and infrequent mild curses and terms of deity.
Alcohol / Drug Use: None.

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This film is the latest in the American Godzilla franchise, starting with Godzilla (2014), Godzilla: King of the Monsters, and Godzilla vs. Kong. It also relies on Kong: Skull Island. The Japanese Godzilla films have recently been blessed by the addition of Godzilla Minus One, but viewers will also enjoy Shin Godzilla. If you’re looking for giant monsters in other franchises, try Pacific Rim or Troll. Under no circumstances should you watch Monster Hunter, and adaptation of the video game franchise of the same name. Peter Jackson also took a crack at the big ape in King Kong (2005).