The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard Parent Guide

Although he survived his last job, Michael Bryce (Ryan Reynolds) has a new problem: He’s lost his bodyguard license. Staring down the barrel of a slow-paced, gun-free life, he takes off to Capri, Italy, to get his bearings. Unfortunately, he’s no sooner relaxing in a nice beach chair then Sonia Kincaid (Salma Hayek) arrives, guns blazing, to inform him that her husband, notorious hitman Darius Kincaid (Samuel L. Jackson), has specifically requested his help. Darius has been picked up by the mafia and he’s in dire need of immediate rescue. But when Sonia and Michael come to his aid, they discover a larger plot - one that has the potential to destabilize all of Europe. The mastermind? None other than Greek billionaire and maniac Aristotle Papadopolous (Antonio Banderas)…who just so happens to remember Sonia from back in the day.

It’s always harder to be a sequel. Everyone saw your successful older brother, and now they have expectations for you (my apologies to the younger siblings of doctors and lawyers). So how does The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard stack up against the original? Well, the title’s longer. So that’s got to be good, right?

Unfortunately, it isn’t. The banter is a little duller than the original, which is unusual for Ryan Reynolds, who has to be some kind of world champion in witty banter. Not to say that there aren’t any laughs here; just not as many as you might be expecting. The big letdown for me is the action, which has a tendency to feel a little paint-by-numbers – a situation made worse by CGI that occasionally fails to be convincing. Big explosions are fun, but if they look plastic-y and computer generated, they can be distracting.

As far as parents are concerned, this isn’t what I’d call “family entertainment”. I, for one, don’t think I could talk my grandmother into watching a movie with a veritable blitz of f-bombs – well over 100 of them in as many minutes. The thornier issue is the raunchy sex jokes, which would make family movie night a learning experience, albeit in the most undesirable of ways (and the level of awkwardness would be unbelievable). As sophomoric as the humor in this movie is, it’s not something you’re going to want to show to your sophomore. And unless you have a good tolerance for blood, profanity, and raunchy humor, it’s probably not something you’re going to want to show yourself, either.