It Ends With Us Parent Guide

Lily Blossom Bloom (Blake Lively) has achieved her life’s dream - opening a lushly decorated, French-inspired, flower shop in Boston. Her new assistant, Allysa (Jenny Slate) is fast becoming a close friend, and Allysa’s brother, Ryle (Justin Baldoni) is a handsome, successful neurosurgeon who’s intrigued by her.

Despite her new horizons, Lily is haunted by her past – the father who terrorized their family, the mother who stayed with him, and Atlas, the boyfriend whose fate troubles her. Can her new store and new partner set her free from the past or will she find herself trapped in familiar, destructive patterns?

Domestic violence is a deeply disturbing topic and there’s no way to make a movie about it that won’t upset viewers. Director Justin Baldoni deserves credit for clearly depicting the terror of intimate partner violence without putting too much graphic material on screen. There are scenes of marital rape and other assaults, but the violent scenes are usually brief and not detailed, although injuries are shown afterwards. This show can definitely trigger people with traumatic experiences, so think twice before buying a ticket if your past includes domestic abuse.

Parents will also need to think carefully about bringing teens to this film. Don’t get me wrong, I think teaching adolescents about relationship violence is a critical, possibly life-saving step. And for some older teens, It Ends with Us could be a good vehicle for delivering warnings about red flags and messages about self-protection and safety. Parents will want to take note of the above-mentioned violence as well as frequent scenes of smoking, alcohol consumption, and sexual activity. None of the sex involves nudity, but some of the scenes are steamy and involve a fair bit of passionate kissing and caressing. There’s also a scene of teen sex, again without nudity, and involving discussions of consent and contraception.

On the bright side of this dark topic, It Ends with Us is a very well-made film. The sets are attractive, the pacing crisp, and the cast accomplished. Blake Lively anchors the film, bringing to life Lily’s generous heart, her fear, and her critically important self-respect. (I’m also delighted by the fact that Ms. Lively has been allowed to age and gain a bit of weight: she’s not a size two and that is always great to see on the big screen.) Her character is well matched by Justin Baldoni’s Ryle who smolders on screen while projecting brokenness, rage, and possessiveness. Isabela Ferrer and Alex Neustaedter who play the young Lily and Atlas both turn in touching performances. Neustaedter, in particular, delivers a more compelling Atlas than does Brandon Sklenar as his older self. Somehow, Sklenar never manages to establish a strong screen presence, despite the importance of his character, and he’s always overshadowed by Baldoni’s more predatory, almost feline, performance. On the fun side, Jenny Slate brings a light heart to her role as Allysa, but I have to point out that no woman could afford to buy her designer wardrobe on the kind of salary you make working retail; she’d be lucky to pay the drycleaning bill.

Criticisms aside, It Ends with Us, is one of the better films I’ve seen about this sensitive and painful topic. It would be naïve to hope that the movie will stop the epidemic of intimate partner violence, but I hope shows like this help women identify abuse and claim their right to safety and respect. If films like this help women recognize red flags in their own and their friends’ relationships, maybe more of them will choose to “break the pattern before the pattern breaks us”.