Instant Family Parent Guide

Pete (Mark Wahlberg) and Ellie Wagner (Rose Byrne) have it made. The happy couple work together flipping houses and enjoying date nights, golfing, and playing with their dog. But one day Ellie decides something is missing and that something is a family. Pete and Ellie have never tried to have children of their own and Pete makes a joking reference to adopting an older child so he won’t be a really old dad. Ellie takes him seriously and starts researching foster parenting and adoption. The two enroll in foster parenting classes and a chain of circumstances lead them to welcome three siblings to their perfect home - Lizzy, Juan, and Lita (Isabela Moner, Gustavo Quiroz, and Julianna Gamiz).

The three children arrive with their belongings in garbage bags: Lizzy tells a very stunned Ellie that being able to pack up your life in a Hefty bag is a sure sign that someone is a foster child. And that isn’t all the baggage the children have brought with them. Lizzy misses her mother, despite her history of drug abuse, neglect, and incarceration. Juan has nightmares and lives in fear of physical harm. And Lita will only eat potato chips and screams piercingly whenever she is upset or frustrated. The hopeful new parents are soon exhausted and overwhelmed.

Since this movie is listed as a comedy and not a drama, we know that there is going to be a happy ending. Kudos to the director and screen writer for not making that happy ending too easy. This script is based on the real-life experience of director Sean Anders and his wife, who fostered and then adopted three children. Their personal journey through the joy and angst of adopting older children imbues this story with a gritty authenticity that makes the final scenes feel more real.

Unfortunately, the realism sometimes gets a bit too “gritty”. The biggest content issue in this film is language. I counted over four dozen profanities and there could easily be more: sometimes they came so quickly it was hard to keep track. I counted 19 scatological curses, 10 terms of deity, one sexual expletive and at least 19 other moderate profanities.

Another area of concern involves sexual content. Although there is no sexual activity on screen, the Wagners discover that Lizzie has been pressured by her crush, Jacob, into taking topless photos of herself. Jacob, in turn, is sending her photos of his genitalia. (These photos are discussed in general terms and are not shown.) When her new parents find out that Jacob is not a teenage crush but a 24 year old school employee, they lose their self-control. Pete punches the young man and Ellie kicks him in the groin. Twice. This scene is played for laughs, but it represents poor judgment and a lack of responsibility on the part of both supposedly mature adults.

These content issues are particularly frustrating because they spoil what is otherwise a tender, heartwarming film, rendering it unsuitable for children, although teens will likely enjoy it. Instant Family has timely messages about the power of love and the strength of family bonds. Pete and Ellie learn that love isn’t about a “cosmic connection” but that it grows out of caring, sacrifice, determination, and keeping promises. And the children learn that there are adults they can trust to love them, set boundaries, and never leave. This message is worth sharing with all families, instant or not.