Exhibiting Forgiveness Parent Guide

La’Ron (John Earl Jelks) is a changed man. After decades of addiction, he’s finally clean and doing his best to live up to his Christian faith. He’s reconnected with his ex-wife (Aunjanue Ellis-Taylor) and wants to repair his relationship with his sons.

Tarrell’s (André Holland) memories of his abusive childhood run deep and the trauma haunts his dreams. He’s built a successful career as an artist and is a devoted husband and father. But when his mother tries to reunite him with La’Ron, Tarrell’s dark memories choke off any desire for reconciliation or forgiveness.

Exhibiting Forgiveness is a story about breaking the chains of generational abuse. La’Ron respected his harsh, abusive father, and unable to visualize anything better, repeats the violence on his own sons, magnified by his drug addiction. Tarrell recognizes his father’s flaws and is determined not to perpetuate the pattern, doing his best to give his son the joyful, loving childhood he didn’t have. But it isn’t easy and Tarrell struggles to erase his father’s voice and reactions from his head. So when he’s pressured to forgive his father, his bitterness comes as no surprise.

Forgiveness is a complicated concept, and that complexity is honored in the script. Although his parents both urge biblically-mandated forgiveness, Tarrell’s experience raises big questions. Should a person be pressured into forgiveness they don’t wish to offer? Is it appropriate for an offender urge his victim to forgive him? Who benefits from forgiveness? Can forgiveness be proffered on demand or does the timing vary by person? Does forgiving mean forgetting? Does forgiveness preclude boundaries or some types of estrangement?

As Tarrell negotiates his horrifying memories and the life he wants to give his son, he must find a way to honor both his emotional needs and his own values. While this is a critically important internal voyage, I must admit that it doesn’t always make for interesting viewing. The first half of the film is particularly dull, with the bright spots being Tarrell’s tastefully redone midcentury home and his vibrant art. The movie picks up speed as Tarrell’s past is excavated and the conflicts at the heart of the movie are explained. It’s often painful but at least the characters’ emotions have enough power to keep the story going.

I have nothing but praise for the cast, who bring deep, believable emotion to their roles. When the movie works, it’s because they project such depth. When it fails, it’s due to some agonizingly slow pacing. Some viewers will also object to the movie’s negative content, particularly the twenty sexual expletives, as well as scenes of abusive parenting. People who are triggered by child abuse (physical, not sexual) should think carefully before buying a ticket to Exhibiting Forgiveness.

Overall, this is a sincere film, but it’s not exciting or easy to watch. It didn’t reel me in, but that’s not to say it wouldn’t work for other adult viewers. Movies are like paintings: taste is individual and you never know who will be enchanted by a work of art that leaves someone else cold.