The Wrong Missy Parent Guide

Tim Morris (David Spade) has been having a rough time. Following a messy breakup with his fiancée, he goes on a disastrous first date with a woman named Missy (Lauren Lapkus) who brings a massive knife, follows him into the bathroom, and loudly talks about their hypothetical sex life. But things are looking up for Tim - he bumps into Melissa (Molly Sims), who goes by Missy as well, in an airport, and they hit it off right away. So when Tim gets an invite to his corporate retreat in Hawaii, he takes a chance and invites Missy to come along - or he thinks he does, until the other Missy shows up on his plane. Realizing that he’s made a colossal mistake but unwilling to be rude and tell Missy that she’s not who he thought, he tries to muscle through the retreat…but Missy’s erratic behavior and odd personality quickly complicate the trip.

I have a powerful dislike for Adam Sandler movies in general and seeing his name in the producer credits was more than enough to forewarn me that what The Wrong Missy had in store would be largely unpleasant. I was not disappointed. Within the first ten minutes, I would gladly have paid to be anywhere else. I have nothing in particular against most of the cast, but the horrific writing and direction make them deeply unpleasant to watch.

Not that the unpleasantness is limited to the crippling lack of humor or aggravating dialogue. Why stop there? No, the real fun comes in all the quirky situations Missy drags Tim into, like the failed threesome, or the awkward airplane sex, or the bit where she pukes into a shark tank…you know, good fun, high comedy. Not that Missy needs help in causing trouble, as the rest of the cast is perfectly capable of making things weird on their own. My personal “favorite” involved a shadow projection of a man shooting lemons from his posterior. I can hear you already: “But that makes no sense! In what context would that be funny?” I have no answers for you. Neither do the writers (yes, writers plural, since this dumpster fire apparently took the combined mental might of two people to slap together).

The Wrong Missy is not only grossly unsuitable for family viewing, it’s hideously painful individual viewing. More than anyone else who writes for this website, I have a fairly high tolerance for gross comedy, with the caveat that it actually has to be funny. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to have to go pour some bleach onto my retinas and see if that can get this movie out of my head.