The People We Hate at the Wedding Parent Guide

While living in England as a young woman, Donna (Allison Janney) fell for wealthy French socialite Henrique (Isaach de Bankole) and had a daughter, Eloise (Cynthia Addai-Robinson). Unfortunately for Donna, Henrique proved to be less than faithful as a husband, and Donna moved back to America, remarried, and had two more children: Alice (Kristen Bell) and Paul (Ben Platt). Though Eloise stayed with her father in England, she treasured visits with her American half-siblings, and everyone seemed to get along – for a while.

Since adulthood, and the death of Donna’s second husband, Paul has had a falling out with Donna, Alice has developed resentment towards Eloise, and Donna is increasingly desperate to get her family back together again. The perfect opportunity is on the horizon: Eloise is getting married and has invited her whole family to come to England for the wedding! But if her half-siblings can’t figure out their various interpersonal problems, her wedding could take a turn for the terrible.

Although almost every character in the film (apart from poor Eloise) is in some way profoundly unlikeable, they’re all unlikeable for interesting reasons. The film makes it clear that their behaviour is insane and, in many ways, tragic, and this makes their general unlikability a lot more tolerable. You can watch them work through their problems and actually make some progress as human people – always a pleasant surprise. I’m not going to claim that everyone is perfect by the end of the film, but their development and growth are refreshing.

And boy, do they have some insane behaviour. There’s attempted group sex (without nudity), immoderate public drinking, fistfights at wedding events, public urination – the works. As that might have suggested, that makes this a tough movie to recommend to a family audience. There’s also a good amount of cussing, including over two dozen sexual expletives, which I don’t think will come as a shock after reading the other antics. Although the characters learn some hard truths about how they treat each other and themselves, those life lessons don’t make it any easier to explain “threesomes” to your ten-year-old.

I like the ambition and tone of the film, but I do wish they’d managed to pack in a little more comedy and a lot less negative material. It’s listed as a straight comedy, which I think is very misleading. This is very much a family drama with some good jokes – I just want more of them. The cast are all talented and funny, and the script gives them some good chances to show it. I just think the movie could have balanced a little further in that direction.