American Underdog Parent Guide

College senior Kurt Warner (Zachary Levi) has struggled to get time on the field. He dreams of being an NFL quarterback, but he’s barely started in any games for the past five years. Unless he can get his act together and throw some touchdowns, he’s going to have to find another dream to follow.

Warner’s a busy man and football isn’t his only pursuit: he’s recently met Brenda (Anna Paquin), a divorced single mother of two kids who, despite mutual attraction, is more than a little wary of another relationship. Now with his personal life more complex than ever, and his athletic career on the line, Kurt is going to have to dig deep to make his dreams come true.

Have you ever seen a sports movie? Or a football movie? Ever even heard the word “football”? Then you already know everything you need to know about this movie. A more uninspired, by-the-numbers sports-focused presentation on middle America has never existed. Our sports-loving, non-denominationally Christian, human piece of Wonder Bread is such a bland everyman that it’s difficult to believe this is a true story. I’m sure the real Kurt Warner is a swell guy, but his cinematic avatar has all the personality of your average carboard cutout.

Sure, there’s no content for parents to be concerned about. Apart from some brief social drinking and a reference to adultery, this movie is squeaky clean. Unless, of course, you’re actually concerned about the risks associated with the brutal tackles seen during games in the film, but given the continued popularity of the NFL, I doubt that’s going to be an issue.

An absence of content is not exactly a compelling reason to watch a film. This one is a complete waste of both time and money. The maudlin personal story and predictable sports plot are hardly worth the excruciating time they take to play out. The film tries to be heartfelt and touching, but has all the sincerity of an insurance commercial. Maybe I’m just sick of movies implying that with enough prayer and determination, you too could make millions of dollars getting traumatic head injuries for a few years. Hopefully, God has better things to worry about than whether or not some guy who was stocking groceries in northern Iowa gets to play for the Rams. At any rate, I’ve got better things to watch. And so do you.