The Animal Parent Guide

Parent Movie Review
by Rod Gustafson

One of the patterns I’ve been noticing in PG-13 movies over the past while is the increasing inclusion of bestiality innuendo and scenarios. Knowing The Animal was a movie about a man who is made whole again after having animal parts transplanted into him, I was prepared for all manner of gross indecency—and rightly so.

Rob Schneider stars as Marvin Mange, a dopey cop-wannabe who is ridiculed by his co-workers and even some school children who tour the police station. Hoping to impress, he answers a desperate call for help from a Chinese restaurant owner being robbed. Sensing a heroic opportunity because the rest of the officers are out playing baseball, Marvin responds to the summons, but his poor high-speed driving skills send him hurtling down a cliff in a horrific crash. (We never know what became of the restaurant owner.)

Barely alive, Marvin is discovered by the strange Dr. Wilder (Michael Caton) who rebuilds his damaged body with animal parts. Unaware of donor sources, Marvin begins life again… with a peculiar desire to chase after dog toys and eat copious amounts of red meat, and a ravishing appetite for sex—with humans or animals. Yet, it’s not all bad news. Marvin scores points toward his police officer dream after sniffing out a “body packer” in the airport and retrieving the mayor’s young son from drowning. Even more amazing, he attracts the affection of Rianna (Colleen Haskell).

This poorly written comedy contains herds of toilet humor, lame lines (Rianna: “Oh Marvin… what’s happening to you?”) and stereotypical characters including dumb cops, raging homosexuals, and an African-American who is convinced he can get away with anything because he’s the target of reverse discrimination.

But this Animal’s greatest preoccupation is with sexual perversions—most of which are central to the humor of the film. If you’re uncomfortable watching a man “come on to” a goat, being offered sex from a chimp in lingerie, or masturbating by rubbing against a mailbox (and that’s in addition to an implied sexual relationship outside of marriage with a female human), then you’ll likely want to leave this beast behind bars.

Starring Rob Schneider. Running time: 84 minutes. Theatrical release June 1, 2001. Updated February 13, 2012

About author

Rod Gustafson

Rod Gustafson has worked in various media industries since 1977. He founded Parent Previews in 1993, and today continues to write and broadcast the reviews in newspapers, on radio and (of course) on the Internet. His efforts also include writing and researching media in all its forms and observing how it effects society and culture. He and his wife Donna have four children.

The Animal
Rating & Content Info

Why is The Animal rated PG-13? The Animal is rated PG-13 by the MPAA some crude and sexual humor

This gross out film (complete with a cameo from Adam Sandler) attempts to generate humor with a sexually based script peppered with dialogue and innuendo toward bestiality, masturbation, and other sexual perversions. Add a gaggle of toilet jokes, and you’re left with a movie unfit for humans or animals.

Violence: C
School-age children attack a clerk at a police station by throwing fruit, hitting with a bat, and spray painting “Lose” on his shirt; a policeman comes in and sprays the “R” to finish the word. Homeless man lights coat sleeve on fire, which accidentally spreads to entire coat. Elderly lady attacks man with kicks and punches; man retaliates by throwing dirt in her eyes. Policeman shoots at trainees wearing bulletproof vests—one is wearing his around his crotch. Case of guns in police station, man pretends to shoot one, but when he puts it down, it fall on floor and goes off without injuring anyone. Desperate man phones police station stating he’s being robbed. Man accidentally drives car off cliff in extended crash scene. Man riding horse is “clotheslined” by tree branch. Man shoots tranquilizer darts, drugging two people. Orangutan hits a man on the head twice, the two begin wrestling, and man pinches orangutan’s nipple to get him to stop. Goat kicks man. Man rams his head—as a goat would—into another man’s stomach, knocking him into garbage can. Man slaps woman’s rear. Mob of people with guns are shown. Man falls from tree. Two depictions of a man shooting a gun at another man. Man on foot chased by another man in truck who has a rifle. Man rolls truck over. Man falls down ravine but clings onto a vine.

Sexual Content: D
Man and woman kiss about four times during movie. Close-up of hula girl’s stomach. Woman uses men’s bathroom. “Accidental” sexual reference alluding to oral sex and masturbation. Women wearing small bikini’s seen on TV. Man points to woman’s breast. Waist-up shot of man coming out of shower, later full rear nudity shown. Man sniffs around another man’s rear, reaches into his pants and pulls out a large heroin balloon the man had presumably inserted into himself—while watching this activity, one obviously homosexual man comments to his companion that he hopes that man is on his flight. While watching a woman in a short tight white skirt (with close-ups of her rear and breasts), a man becomes sexually aroused and begins pushing against a mailbox. Man talks about being a “porn addict.” Man offers a chimp dressed in lingerie to help another man with his sexual frustrations. Man attracted to goat in heat, caresses and kisses animal. On-duty policeman asks woman for a date. Man talks about being born with one testicle. Man “marks his territory” by urinating. Aroused by woman wearing a sensual dress in a restaurant (with close-ups of her breasts and back), a man excuses himself to restroom twice, presumably to masturbate. Side view drawing of naked man. Man, who is able to lick his crotch, is asked by the chief of police if he can teach him how to do that. Man slaps woman’s rear. Man and woman wake up in bed together, sex is implied. Man makes comment about woman’s nipples. Man shows sexual interest in goat.

Language: C
At least: 10 moderate profanities, 13 mild profanities, and 2 terms of Deity used as expletives or profanities.

Alcohol / Drug Use: C+
People drinking in bar. Man smokes in no-smoking zone. Drugs found inside a man at an airport.

Page last updated February 13, 2012