You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah parents guide

You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah Parent Guide

There's a lot of tween silliness here, but this comedy has something to say.

Overall B

Netflix: Best friends Stacy and Lydia are planning their epic dream bat mitzvahs. But middle school drama and a cute boy threaten to unravel their plans and their friendship.

Release date August 25, 2023

Violence B+
Sexual Content B+
Profanity C+
Substance Use C

Why is You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah rated PG-13? The MPAA rated You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah PG-13 for some crude/suggestive material, strong language and brief teen drinking.

Run Time: 103 minutes

Parent Movie Review

Stacy is obsessed with her upcoming bat mitzvah, when she will read the Torah at her local synagogue and be recognized as an adult. “Bat mitzvah,” she says, “is the first day of your adult life and everyone knows an iconic adult life hinges on how it starts.” This is not, however, a moral/ethical statement: it represents Stacy’s complete and total obsession with the party after the ceremony.

Stacy and her best friend Lydia (Samantha Lorraine) have been planning their bat mitzvah celebrations for years – expensive gowns, professional DJs, entrance videos, elaborate decorations, catered food, etc. Stacy’s current dream involves a private yacht and celebrity guest – until her parents (Adam Sandler and Idina Menzel) point out that cashing her college fund is not an option. Frustrated by her parents’ intransigence, the 12-year-old focuses instead on the cute boy in her class – and undercuts her lifelong friendship with Lydia. Can Stacy prepare for her bat mitzvah, straighten out her priorities, and fix her most important relationships? Of course she can, but it’s going to be a rocky road getting there.

As far as tween dramas go, there’s nothing surprising in this movie, but there are some definite bright spots. It’s always good to see a movie with empathetic parents who provide common sense advice, firm boundaries, and sensible consequences. Stacy’s parents don’t always know what’s going on in her life, but they always care. More remarkably, her older sister, Ronnie (Sadie Sandler), despite occasional bickering, is a kind and supportive person in Stacy’s life. Having a solid family on screen is always a pleasant surprise. The family’s Jewish identity is also treated with humor and respect and provides diversity with a light touch.

On the downside, the movie’s cringe factor reaches nuclear levels with Stacy doing some truly awful things that made me want to stop watching and eat chocolate to cope with the stress. She’s often a profoundly unlikeable protagonist and that takes some of the fun out of the film. Fortunately, Sunny Sandler and Samantha Lorraine are both fine actresses and their relationship with its history and hurts is strong enough to keep audiences watching. Andy Goldfarb, however, as the tween heart throb who gets in between the girls, is terribly flat on screen and has the emotional range of a goldfish. I hate picking on a child actor, but there are adults who bear the responsibility for casting him and then not providing the support he needs to shine on the screen.

If you’re considering this film for family viewing, you can be assured that negative content is limited to some profanity, a bit of kissing, and a brief moment of teenagers drinking alcohol at a supervised party. On the plus side, the movie imparts strong messages about loyalty, self-assessment, accountability, friendship, sacrifice, community, and the power of family connections and religious identity. Yes, it’s a silly movie, but it has plenty to say.

Directed by Sammi Cohen. Starring Idina Menzel, Adam Sandler, Jackie Sandler. Running time: 103 minutes. Theatrical release August 25, 2023. Updated

Watch the trailer for You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah

You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah
Rating & Content Info

Why is You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah rated PG-13? You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah is rated PG-13 by the MPAA for some crude/suggestive material, strong language and brief teen drinking.

Violence: A girl is accidentally hit in the head with a soccer ball. There is some careless driving. A girl jumps off a cliff into a lake and is unharmed. There’s mention of a suicide. There are two scenes of minor car accidents. A parent yells at a teenager for poor behavior.
Sexual Content: There are scenes of teen boys and girls kissing. A girl mentions having her period. There’s a discussion about menstruation and hygiene products. A used menstrual pad is visible. There’s mention of a boy touching a girl’s breast. Someone describes a girl’s breasts. A girl poses for seductive photos (fully dressed).
Profanity: There are approximately two dozen terms of deity, five scatological curses, and a few crude anatomical terms and minor profanities.
Alcohol / Drug Use: Adults drink alcohol at social functions. Teenagers drink alcohol given to them by an adult at a party.

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You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah Parents' Guide

Why is Stacy so obsessed with her bat mitzvah party? How does she measure success? Why is that important to her? How does her perspective change? What does she learn about the importance of her bat mitzvah? What does she learn about truly becoming an adult?

Home Video

Related home video titles:

In Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret, another tween struggles to juggle family, friendship, and faith.

13: The Musical tells the story of Evan, a 13-year-old who has just moved from New York to Indiana and now needs to navigate a new social world while planning his bar mitzvah.

Greg Heffley plots his journey to middle school popularity in Diary of a Wimpy Kid. In the animated movie Ron’s Gone Wrong, Ron needs a digital friend to fit in at school: but his model is defective in important ways.

The challenges of early adolescence are comically portrayed in the animated movie Turning Red, the story of a girl who changes into a giant red panda when she feels strong emotion.

A woman struggles to balance her individual goals with her family’s Greek identity in My Big Fat Greek Wedding.