Then Came You Parent Guide

I don’t like to make sexist assumptions about movies, but the men I know usually view rom-coms with suspicion, seeing them as “chick flicks” that will bore male moviegoers. In fact, friends of mine have a deal: when they go to a rom-com, he looks around the theater and counts the number of men. If there are more than ten in the crowd, he stays. If not, he wanders into the neighboring theater and watches an action film. I’ll be blunt: I can’t imagine ten men who would be willing to sit through Then Came You. To be honest, I’m hard pressed to imagine ten women who would be willing to watch this cliché-ridden pile of toxic messaging.

The most frustrating part of watching this movie is knowing that it could have been better. (Not great but better.) The setting is stunning – lots of glorious Scottish vistas bathed in golden light and a 400 year old castle (with the predictably leaky plumbing). Even the storyline could have provided quirky fun. Annabelle Wilson, played by a very earnest Kathie Lee Gifford, is traveling the world with a chocolate box containing the ashes of her late husband. She’s determined to create new memories to fill the hole left by his loss. Her plan is to visit the locations of her 20 favorite films and her love of Braveheart brings her to Scotland.

Scotland holds the Castle Awd, owned by the latest lord, a curmudgeonly widower named Howard (Craig Ferguson). Good looking with a swoon-worthy Scottish accent, Howard is desperately trying to keep his family castle afloat as a hotel while grieving his wife’s death. Into his sad life sweeps the equally sad American widow, but she’s so honest, so open, so determinedly optimistic that she shines a ray of sunshine into his lonely life…yadda yadda yadda. (Sorry, I got swept away on the wave of cliches.) If the plot weren’t cheesy enough, the numerous plaid outfits Annabelle dons are a crime against cinema. Throw in an absolutely excruciating plot twist and this movie will have you laughing or groaning for all the wrong reasons.

The story problems aren’t the worst of the film. That dubious honor goes to Howard’s treatment of Annabelle. When he isn’t curtly dismissive, he’s just plain cruel. He tells her she’s uneducated, poorly dressed, and “merely a woman”. And he yells at her when he’s angry. Why a woman would be interested in a man who has practically has an “emotional abuser” sign flashing over his head is a mystery to me. Aside from this disturbing message, the film also comes with some content issues, principally coarse sexual innuendo throughout the film and frequent scenes of alcohol consumption and deliberate attempts to get drunk.

You might say, Dear Reader, that I’m being too picky about light-hearted entertainment. Please, don’t get me wrong, I love rom-coms and even understand the appeal of dumb ones. After a stressful week, I enjoy curling up on the couch with a fluffy blanket and lots of carbs to watch true love triumph and feel a wave of oxytocin flood my tired brain. I’m willing to put up with some lazy writing and a hackneyed plot. But Then Came You is too dreadful even for my relatively low standards. No happy hormones will result from sitting down in front of this stinker – just lots of aggravation. There are better options for rom-com fans – even watching Pride & Prejudice for the umpteenth time. At least the writing’s good.