The Man from Toronto Parent Guide

Teddy (Kevin Hart) has been struggling to launch his new businesses, much to the frustration of his wife, Lori (Jasmine Matthews). He’s tried everything from adjustable pull-up bars to sweat suits made from garbage bags, and his newest idea is no-contact boxing. Teddy knows he’s driving Lori crazy, and devises an elaborate vacation for her birthday, booking a cabin out in scenic Onancock, Virginia. But Teddy’s printer was running out of toner, and he can’t quite make out the address of the cabin he’s booked, so he takes a guess. His guess launches him into an ongoing criminal enterprise, in which the parties involved mistake him for the dangerous, elusive, and infamous Man from Toronto (Woody Harrelson), a torture-prone gun for hire. And if Teddy wants to get out of this mess alive, he’s going to have to play along…at least for now.

As anyone who’s spent any time in Canada could tell you, none of these people are from Toronto, since they all spend the entirety of the film mispronouncing the name of the city. (Pro tip: It’s not “To-ron-to”, it’s “Toronno” or “Tronno”.) Were that the film’s only sin, I’d be willing to let it slide. Unfortunately, it’s the tip of a large, bland iceberg.

This is one of the most derivative films I’ve ever seen. It’s a shameless rehash of every other bad buddy thriller that’s ever been made, and it doesn’t change any of the beats. The movie just trudges along relentlessly vomiting cliches on its own shoes like the village drunkard. Its worst offence is its failure to be consistently funny – something which many so-called comedies struggle to manage. Kevin Hart continues to rely on being short and loud, and Woody Harrelson just spends the runtime looking angry and dropping stale one-liners. I’m certain the two of them could have been interesting, but they sure don’t get there in this movie.

Parents willing to suffer through jokes which missed their sell-by date five years ago will probably find the film’s focus on torture harder to swallow. While no one is actually tortured on screen, there are a lot of scenes in which torture is a major theme, including graphic discussions of how one character plans to flay and filet another alive. There are also a few vague sexual references, a fair bit of cursing, and some brief drinking, but none of those are half as concerning as the story’s reliance on, and seeming indifference to, torture. I wouldn’t say watching this movie qualifies as torture, but it’s closer to that than it is to fun.