The Gentlemen Parent Guide

Micky Pearson (Matthew McConaughey) has built a powerful drug empire in the UK, through which he controls almost all the country’s marijuana market. Having decided to get out while the getting is good, Pearson is looking for a reliable buyer to take the operation off his hands. His right-hand man, Raymond (Charlie Hunnam), meanwhile, has been confronted by seedy investigative journalist Fletcher (Hugh Grant), who claims to have some important information about both Micky and the potential buyers, which he is willing to sell for the low, low price of £20 million. If Raymond refuses his generous offer, Fletcher intends to take his material to the press.

There are a lot of problems with The Gentlemen. In fact, with such a lavish spread of failures and flaws to choose from, it’s difficult to choose what to describe first. I think I’ll start with the random racism that keeps popping up throughout the film like an offensive game of whack-a-mole. Multiple racial slurs, stereotypes, and behaviors occur throughout the film, none of which lend it any charm. Although this may accurately depict the predilections of London’s criminal class, it hardly makes for pleasant viewing.

And if racism isn’t bad enough, The Gentlemen is off-putting in areas of sex and gender too. There is exactly one female character with spoken dialogue, and when the antagonist is unsatisfied with beating and trying to kill her, he decides to rape her. What purpose in the film does this sexual assault serve, I can hear you asking? Is it a rude awakening to the dangers of a life of crime? Is it a deeply personal moment that causes self-reflection or character development? Pfft, of course not - this is a Guy Ritchie movie. Her sexual assault exists as a plot device to provide her husband with a reason to murder some more people. If that doesn’t offend you enough, just wait - I haven’t even mentioned the character who is forcibly drugged and has sex with a pig. And I’ll spare you extra detail on this little bit of bestiality. You’re welcome.

To round off its unsavory content, the movie is saturated in profanity. It’s an almost impressive scriptwriting achievement to stuff approximately 200 swear words into a 113 minute movie, although I have to remove points for a staggering lack of originality since 131 of the cusses are the same sexual expletive. No extra points for attempting (and failing) to be funny by naming a minor character “Phuc”. Three guesses how that’s pronounced.

Given the astounding level of abhorrent content, I’m obviously not recommending this sorry excuse of a film for teen viewing or for discerning adults either. I’m sure existing Guy Ritchie fans will enjoy this chaotic romp through London’s criminal underground. I, personally, would have preferred to clean my ears with a reciprocating saw, but there’s no accounting for taste. Next time I want to hear this much profanity, I’ll just take a ride on city transit without headphones. Or go to a hockey game and sit next to hardcore fans - at least there, I’ll have something entertaining to watch.