The Boathouse Parent Guide

Anne Wilson (Michaely Kurimsky) is having a rough time. From the disappearance of Natalia (Kelly Martin) who supervises her Masters project, to the loss of the grant money she needs to continue the program, and finally, on to a car accident, she’s badly rattled. She can’t even sleep well, as the anxiety medication she takes causes her to sleepwalk. Thankfully, she’s found some work – Natalia’s husband, Dominic (Alan Van Sprang) needs someone to nanny and tutor his two children over the summer at their remote cabin. But Dominic’s 15-year-old son, Leo (Jack Fulton) is proving to be more than a handful. And Anne only complicates the situation when she and Dominic start sleeping together… but Anne’s mysterious past poses a far greater threat than some ill-advised romantic affair.

I realize I am not the poster child for “likeable”, but this movie really suffers from some irritating characters. Leo stands out, but given that he’s fifteen years old, that’s probably accurate writing. Anne oscillates between sympathetic and aggravatingly self-destructive, and Dominic is a bit of a bully and frequently an inadequate father. I have no issues with Emily (Dominic’s youngest child), but that’s because she has half a dozen lines in the film, most of which involve her complaining about what a bully her brother is.

Barring relatable characters, this movie needs something to keep it in the air. Rather than opt for a gripping and tense story, however, the movie resorted to sex and stereotypes about mental illness. Admittedly, the sex is fairly tame, but still manages to include some brief toplessness. In fact, the film’s largest content issue is violence, which is limited to a few scenes and doesn’t include anything hugely graphic, apart from a rabbit’s bloody corpse.

Overall, I just found the film uninteresting. Despite decent performances, particularly from Michaela Kurimsky and Alan Van Sprang, the characters never quite clicked for me, which in turn held the story back. I suppose if you just love thrillers and need something to kill some time this might work for you, but I’m struggling to think of another good reason to sit through the movie. It’s not even actively bad enough that it’s amusing to mock. For me, it just flops like a dead fish on a dock. Sure, you could do something with it…but it’s probably best not to touch it.