Spy Kids: Armageddon Parent Guide

The Tango-Torrez family has strict rules about video games and screen time, rules that Tony (Connor Esterson) doesn’t always like to follow. His sister, Patty (Everly Carganilla), is much more honest but her integrity doesn’t rub off on her brother, who likes to find sneaky ways to get around the rules and isn’t above cheating at games, both virtual and real. But when Tony secretly downloads a video game, he accidentally allowed an evil game developer (Billy Magnussen) access to his parent’s systems, including a super-secret code called Armageddon that allows its owner to control any device on the plant. With the world’s technology at risk, Tony and Patty will have to suit up and follow in their parents’ footsteps to become world-saving spies.

I’m a 90s kid, which means I have a lot of nostalgia for the original Spy Kids. I checked out of this franchise somewhere in the mid 2000s and it seems to have taken a turn for the worse. Though the director is the same, the quality has dropped, as has the age of the intended audience. I will say that though this installment is a huge improvement over the last, it doesn’t live up to the heights of the original. That said, Robert Rodriquez is skilled at making dream-fulfillment flicks for young kids, and I think seven-year-old me would have been obsessed with this one. Tony and Patty get to do all sort of cool things that only a child could imagine, and they also get to show how their skills are just as important and needed as those of the adults around them.

As an adult, I found this movie to be somewhere between boring and annoying for the most part. The overall story is juvenile, with far too pretty of an ending to be believable, but that’s not a bad thing for young audiences. The villain doesn’t have clear motivations and his grand scheme doesn’t make much sense. The special effects are about what you’d expect from a production of this budget and the child actors are serviceable but not outstanding.

The only content concerns of note are the levels of violence, but I would classify it on the same level as most children’s media, with no real injuries or blood; not unexpected since the spy gadgets are all used for silly incapacitation, not injury. For the intended audience of elementary aged children, I do think this film is going to be a hit. Parents, on the other hand, are going to be a captive, bored audience.