Ordinary Love Parent Guide

In sickness or in health…

Married long enough that squabbling is just part of their “love language”, Tom and Joan (Liam Neeson, Lesley Manville) are well settled in their long-term relationship. But the predictable ebb and flow of their routine is disrupted when Joan thinks she feels a lump in her left breast.

Uttering platitudes, Tom suggests she not worry until she has seen her doctor. So Joan books an appointment the next day. That leads to further tests, trips to the hospital, visits with specialists and eventually a diagnosis. (We see depictions of medical procedures including a bare breast during a mammogram.)

For better or worse…

Facing cancer can be terrifying. Yet this isn’t the first time the couple has had to deal with devastating news. The lingering waves of their last emotional tsunami surface again as the pair navigate long sterile hallways, endless hours in waiting rooms and putting on brave public faces. While Joan endures surgery, the realities of chemotherapy and the possibility of a double mastectomy, Tom watches helplessly, attempting to fill the lonely hours drinking countless cups of cafeteria tea or feeding the fish at home. Along the way, the one bright spot for Joan and Tom is meeting a gay couple (David Wilmot, Amit Shah) struggling through a similar situation.

For richer or poorer…

The word “ordinary” in the title aptly describes the tone of this movie. The characters are regular people leading normal lives. The medical world they enter depicts the routine – and even mundane—nature of the services these healthcare workers provide. The script offers no eloquent speeches or dramatic scenes, and there is next-to-no musical score to manipulate the viewers’ emotions. Instead, the screenplay relies on the incredible skills of the actors to convey the challenges of this difficult journey.

Still, I can’t help wondering what audience the producers were targeting? A story about life and death, featuring breast nudity and brief sex scenes with middle-aged protagonists, isn’t going to attract a young crowd. And anyone who has had this kind of experience isn’t likely to be keen on going through it again. Perhaps this movie is made for those hoping to understand and better empathize with their less-fortunate friends?

Pursuing that train of thought, I once had the opportunity to ask a pediatric oncologist what he did to console his cancer patients and their families. His answer was to help parents and children see the meaning in the journey. That idea has weighed on me ever since.

While the movie abundantly observes the journey (of both the patient and the loved-one strapped in the passenger seat), the script lacks opportunities for the characters to explore its meaning. And that may prove disappointing for those who embark on this voyage.

About author

Donna Gustafson

Donna Gustafson has been involved with her husband Rod's work since the beginning. Handling many of the behind-the-scenes tasks, she also creates preview pages for up-coming movies, acts as managing editor and occasionally writes reviews.