No Time to Die Parent Guide

With the devious Ernst Stavro Blofeld (Christoph Waltz) safely imprisoned and the beautiful Madeleine Swann (Lea Seydoux) by his side, James Bond (Daniel Craig) is enjoying retirement. Until, that is, the dark secrets of Madeleine’s past threaten to destroy them both. Bond disappears, living anonymously in Jamaica, which is where CIA agent Felix Leiter (Jeffrey Wright) finds him. It seems a scientist in the employ of MI6 has been abducted by dangerous agents of a shady power, and with him an incredibly devastating bioweapon, codenamed “Project Heracles”. Although the trail is long and complex, Bond soon finds himself turning to Blofeld to identify the man responsible for the theft, and while Blofeld doesn’t know, he knows who does: Madeleine Swann…

I think it’s safe to say I’ve invested slightly more time in this franchise than is entirely sane. I’ve seen all 26 of the films (yes, even the eye-gougingly bad Roger Moore ones, thanks for asking), some of them more than once – I even own a compilation of the credit songs on cassette tape. While this mostly qualifies me for some form of psychological intervention, it also means I’m brilliantly positioned to tell you how this latest film fits into the broader picture. And I have to say, I was surprised at how good this is.

Bond is in fine form, getting in implausible but electrifying car chases (which usually result in heartbreaking damage to a beautiful Aston-Martin), shadowy shootouts, heavy day drinking, and the arms of a beautiful woman or two. This being Daniel Craig’s last turn in the role, the film is also surprisingly emotional, acting both as a send-off to Craig and a heartfelt retrospective of the franchise as a whole.

There’s a catch though. This movie, for reasons which are beyond me, is nearly three hours long. I understand the temptation to prolong this little eulogy, but three hours is insane. This is Bond, not Citizen Kane. No Time to Die is one of those movies where even rationing your drink will not save you from an urgent bathroom break. And the real problem is that the plot is so convoluted and moves so quickly that you’re almost certainly going to miss something, no matter when your bladder sounds red alert.

I was also surprised at the general lack of major content concerns. Yes, there’s a lot of shooting, but frankly Marvel has had far more gruesome deaths in their films of late. There’s much less sexual content too, with Bond more or less settled down for the duration of the film. And parents will be relieved to hear that profanity is limited to minor curses, terms of deity, and only a single f-bomb and scatological curse apiece. Not only is that remarkably low for one of 007’s adventures, that’s low for any action film these days. This still isn’t a kid’s movie, and I’m pretty sure your average child would get bored well before the halfway mark, but teenage fans are sure to have a good time. And with or without Daniel Craig, don’t worry: James Bond will return.