Mummies Parent Guide

Deep under the sands of Egypt is a city where mummies live out their eternal afterlife. Princess Nefer (Eleanor Tomlinson) has reached the age where a husband will be chosen for her by a phoenix sent from the goddess Hathor, whether she wants it or not. Much to her dismay, the man brought to the palace is Thut (Joe Thomas), a cocky chariot racer with a desire to stay single for eternity. Stuck with each other, the two, along with Thut’s little brother Sekhem (Santiago Winder), find themselves on an adventure to the land of the living to retrieve their sacred wedding ring, which was stolen by an overzealous archaeologist (Hugh Bonneville).

Have you ever put a phrase through Google Translate multiple times just to see how incomprehensible it can become? That’s what seems to have happened to this script. Originally written and produced in Spanish before undergoing an English overhaul for wide distribution, some things seem to have been lost in translation. There are plot holes large enough to comfortably fit a pyramid, and the world-building makes absolutely no sense. There is no logic to the internal rules, and I found myself left with far more questions than answers.

The story needs a lot more work, though the premise is promising. Nefer’s dream to be a singer feels tacked on and never fully integrated into the main plot, while Thut’s character growth bounces around as the writers see fit. The mummies’ ignorance of the modern world is completely plot-dependent: they know stuff they shouldn’t understand to make things easier, while not knowing things when it can set up a joke. I also couldn’t get over the fact that the portal from which Hathor sends her phoenix is called a “Stargate” and looks suspiciously like a famous piece of 90s pop culture of the same name. I smell a lawsuit.

All of that said – and I can’t overlook the sub-par animation - I had a fun time watching this film. My 6-year-old loved it, and so did the other children in the theater if the near constant laughter is any indication. Yes, the story is deeply flawed and full of plot holes and anachronisms, but it’s funny and the characters are charming. I laughed out loud multiple times and had a blast with the silly adventure. The mummified crocodile sidekick is quite possibly the cutest animal sidekick this side of Disney and my son audibly squealed whenever he was on screen. There is also a wildly out of place Nickelback song at the emotional climax, which had me in fits of laughter, much to my son’s confusion.

For a fun romp for kids, Mummies is a lot better than I expected and I could see myself revisiting it at some point just for the silliness. It’s also appropriate for most audiences, as there’s little objectionable content outside of the requisite cartoon violence and one brief moment of innuendo. As a critic I could never say this movie is good, but sometimes you don’t need to be good to be entertaining. And a cute baby crocodile doesn’t hurt either.