Men in Black: International Parent Guide

Ever since she saw her parents get memory-wiped by the Men in Black as a child, Molly (Tessa Thompson) has been searching for the shadowy organization that regulates alien activity on Earth. Once she finds them and joins up, she realizes that things are far more dangerous than she realized. Now codenamed Agent M, she teams up with Agent H (Chris Hemsworth) to find a mole deep in Men in Black’s London office.

I can understand why producers thought this reboot of the Men in Black franchise would do well. Chris Hemsworth and Tessa Thompson had amazing chemistry in Thor: Ragnarok, and clearly the studio thought they could replicate it here. Unfortunately, the reason Ragnarok was so funny and endearing was because it was well directed and the writing supported the chemistry between Hemsworth’s and Thompson’s characters. This film…doesn’t. The dialogue is ether flat, bland, or weird, and the characters never develop beyond the cardboard cutouts you see in the theatre lobby.

The writing doesn’t help the plot either. I may see a lot of movies, but it’s a really bad sign if I can accurately predict the entire plot of the movie in the first ten minutes. It’s so formulaic I actually started second guessing myself at one point, thinking “Surely, no one is unironically following this tired premise so faithfully. There must be a twist coming!” Tragically, there wasn’t. The movie just plods along down the familiar path with no new twists, turns, or anything to spice up the bland monotony of it all. This kills the pacing. Men in Black: International clocks in at just under two hours, but it feels longer than Avengers:Endgame, which hovers precariously over the three-hour mark.

If they can stand the boredom, parents will find a few other issues to be concerned about. Surprisingly for a movie about fighting aliens, the violence is less graphic (featuring fewer goopy alien entrails) than previous entries in the franchise. The profanity is also milder. The sexual content isn’t graphic, but it is uncomfortable. Both instances of notable sexual language or behavior are in coercive situations, and the coercive nature of those actions is never discussed or addressed in any meaningful way.

For the most part though, this is a harmless popcorn flick. It may be devastatingly dull, astoundingly unoriginal, and generally pointless, but it isn’t outright offensive. There are just much better ways to spend your time. Like, say, watching the original Men in Black movie and having a nice time. Just as an example.