Last Call Parent Guide

Mick McDougal (Jeremy Piven) has always wanted to get out of his small, blue-collar Philadelphia neighborhood. He seizes the chance to leave Darby Heights and go to an Ivy League university, and even though he ends up working in Philadelphia after graduation, Mick puts off going home as much as he can…until his mother dies. Even when he’s back in the neighborhood for the funeral, Mick is still working: this time, he’s trying to get a casino built in Darby Heights. As far as Mick can tell, there’s nothing in the community worth saving anyway. His brother Dougal (Zach McGowan) is on his way back to prison (again), his father Laurence (Jack McGee) is too old to run the family bar, and his friends haven’t changed since the nineties. But when he bumps into his childhood sweetheart, Ali (Taryn Manning), he wonders if maybe he’s changed too much…

Last Call holds the dubious distinction of having the heaviest drinking I’ve seen since watching Leaving Las Vegas. Just watching this movie gave me early-stage liver cirrhosis. I’m checking myself into a rehab facility as we speak. In fairness much of the film centers around the family-owned bar, but this is downright excessive and it reinforces lazy stereotypes about the Irish. This script also has the dubious distinction of using several of the nastiest sexual terms I heard in high school, and which I have been fortunate enough not to hear since. On top of that, there are more sexual expletives than there are minutes in the runtime, which is always a sign of quality filmmaking. Or not.

In cast I haven’t been clear, Last Call isn’t a good movie. Not only is it obnoxious, vulgar, and predictable, it’s neither funny nor diverting. The premise is identical to most Hallmark romances – boy grows up in the slums, makes a big career for himself, and then comes back due to a death in the family, falls back in love with a girl from his youth, and realizes that all his big business ideology is hollow. Now, take that Hallmark movie premise and dump a cascade of content concerns onto it. As combinations go, this one ranks slightly lower than pouring hot-sauce on ice-cream. And, frankly, I’d rather eat that than ever watch this movie again. Based on the trailer, I think I would have eaten that rather than see it the first time. I had to watch it for my job, but you don’t. Take my warning and give it a miss.