Journey to Bethlehem Parent Guide

The promotional poster for Journey to Bethlehem boasts the tagline “The Greatest Story Ever Comes Alive!” In this, the studio is uncharacteristically restrained. For there isn’t just one story here; there are several and they are all at odds with the Biblical account, and often with each other.

At the center of the film is Mary (Fiona Palomo), a young woman trapped by the social conventions of her time and betrothed against her will to Joseph (Milo Manheim). The couple find themselves in a standard rom-com with a meet-cute, some squabbling, and a firefly-illuminated scene where they fall in love. The romance hits the rocks when a blinged-up angel Gabriel (Lecrae) appears to Mary (in a process reminiscent of a glittery Star Trek transporter) and informs her that she will miraculously give birth to the Son of God. The dialogue is non-canonical, but it gets the message across. Also non-scriptural is Joseph’s response to the situation. Instead of being reassured by an angel and urged to marry his fiancée, Joseph has a dream in which two versions of himself engage in Ninja-style combat over whether or not to remain betrothed. Any guesses as to which way this goes?

Joseph’s decision is critical because his rom-com life is about to cross paths with that of Herod the Great (Antonio Banderas), ruthless King of Judea, who is starring in a badly scripted tale of intrigue. The insomniac monarch struts around his throne room (which bears an uncanny resemblance to the Cave of Wonders in Disney’s Aladdin), celebrating his power and merciless rule. (“Mine is the kingdom, Mine is the power, Mine is the glory” he belts out, pop-diva style.) When three Magi come seeking information about the birth of a new king, the paranoid ruler begins plotting the death of the potential challenger to his throne. Descending to new depths, Herod orders his son Antipater (Joel Smallbone) to search all of Judea for an unwed, pregnant peasant girl and kill her and her child.

As for the three kings, they are wandering about in a clumsy comedy, populated by stock characters and bad jokes. There’s vague muttering about reading the stars, a fair bit of travel-by-map, some whining about camels, and quite a bit of confused gift-giving. The men are supposed to be Magi – wise men from afar – but there’s precious little wisdom to be found and not much sense either.

Competing with the tonal chaos of the film is its soundtrack. Considering that Christmas is the inspiration for some of the most beautiful music in the Western world, it’s astounding that the music in this film is so bad. It starts off well, with a haunting introduction to “O Come, O Come Emmanuel” and then deteriorates rapidly to the adolescent angst of “Mary’s Getting Married”. When the lyrics aren’t grossly twisting the Lord’s Prayer or Handel’s Messiah, they are serving up bad rhymes and extended exposition.

I’m not complaining about this movie because I have an anti-Christian agenda. To the contrary, I am a Bible-reading Sunday School teacher who cherishes the accounts of Christ’s birth found in the gospels of Luke and Matthew. I am frustrated with this film because it turns a story of wonder and reverence into a bad musical comedy that makes a hash of the scriptural record. Instead of leaving viewers gratefully pondering the love of God, this is a film that simply offers questions like “Why does Herod have a Spanish accent while his son has an English accent?”, “Why is Mary wearing a fur-trimmed hood that looks like it came from Doctor Zhivago?”, “Are we supposed to believe that Mary has a guard donkey?” and “Who on earth thinks that it really snowed when Jesus was born?” Rather than being a heartwarming gift for seasonal moviegoers, Journey to Bethlehem feels like the lump of coal in our cinematic stocking.