I’m Your Man Parent Guide

How badly do you want to have the perfect romantic partner? Someone who will anticipate your every need, lavish you with compliments, and be consistently patient, affectionate, and kind? What if this partner exists – but is an android? Would you be willing to invest in a relationship with someone whose personality results from their programming?

That’s the dilemma facing Alma (Maren Eggert). Alma is an archaeologist at a German museum and to get funding for her pet project, she agrees to evaluate an android who has been designed to be compatible with her brain scans and the “life files” of 17 million people. Tom (Dan Stevens) moves into her apartment for a three week trial period – and things get off to a bumpy start.

Tom certainly looks like the perfect guy. Frankly, ladies, any man who looks like Dan Stevens, makes breakfast, cleans without being asked, and tells you that your problems make you lovable, is definitely worth having around – even if only as a roommate. Then again, there’s the uncanny valley problem that happens when an android tries to masquerade as a human. You don’t realize how critical facial expressions for anger, frustration, and fatigue are until you deal with a person who only looks confused or happy (and whose smile has a faint serial killer vibe). It’s a little unsettling and I’m not sure I’d be able to sleep with an android down the hall.

Alma is conflicted by Tom’s presence – but for different reasons. She’s put off by romantic gestures that feel hollow, and she rejects his attempts to be helpful. But she can’t deny his intelligence, usefulness, and (eventually) sex appeal. Alma’s internal conflict distinguishes I’m Your Man from standard romantic dramas and gives it real tension. There are no montages of lovers walking in the rain or kissing in the surf to a background of syrupy melodies. Instead, Alma’s unsettled by a man who’s so unfailingly deferential. Would being with such a partner, she wonders, make it impossible to ever bond with a human, who would inevitably be more demanding and difficult? Could we grow as humans if intimacy came to us on a silver platter, without patience, endurance, unfulfilled longings, or struggle?

Alma also wrestles with having a relationship with a robot that she “owns”. Can she have a relationship with a being that is seen as subordinate? Tom’s “humanity” is rarely addressed explicitly in the movie, although he mentions that their cohabitation experiment is part of a process that will determine if other robots like him can work, marry, get passports – basically receive human rights. I’m Your Man would have benefited from more exploration of this theme, but as it stands, it adds an edge to the film.

The movie also has an “edge” when it comes to content. There is a sex scene, which is shot in dim light, but the woman’s breast is visible for a few seconds and it’s abundantly clear that both people are naked. No genitals are visible, but their nude bodies are seen, entwined, from the side. Throw in a few discussions about sex and seven sexual expletives and the R-rating is well deserved. That said, this film is unlikely to interest teens. Adult fans of romantic stories who want more substance and less fluff (and are willing to read German subtitles) will find a lot to think about here. And maybe they’ll be more appreciative of their own partners’ human foibles.