Five Blind Dates Parent Guide

Lia’s dream is hanging by a thread. When her beloved grandmother died, Lia (Shuang Hu) inherited enough money to open a traditional tea shop in Sydney, with hopes of building a community gathering place that would celebrate Chinese culture. But dreams don’t always work out, and Lia’s shop is teetering on the edge of failure. Now Lia’s back in her hometown for her sister’s (Tiffany Wong) engagement party and she’s lying about her success while pretending she remembers the multitudinous details of the wedding.

There’s one big surprise at the dinner – a fortune teller (Gabrielle Chan). Mrs. Li was hired to tell fortunes for the happy couple, but she also takes a look at Lia’s palm. Lia has a soulmate, Mrs. Li says, and she will find him if she goes on five dates before the wedding. What really perks Lia’s interest is the promise that this man will also help her business boom.

Lia has always been too preoccupied for relationships, but now her family and friends jump into the dating game, setting her up with potential partners. Will she pick the safe, dutiful guy (Jon Prasida), the hunky billionaire with questionable morals (Desmond Chiam), the meditation guru (Rob Collins), or the old flame (Yoson An)?

Movies like Five Blind Dates aren’t about plot – Lia’s eventual choice is blindingly obvious. The point is the journey. The fun is found in watching characters evolve and relationships bloom. Unfortunately, this journey isn’t that enjoyable. Because there are so many dates in the movie, the primary romance receives little screentime, so there’s not a lot of on-screen chemistry (but, thankfully, no bedroom scenes either). And since Lia is so consumed by anxiety, she is often astoundingly selfish, which makes her personal growth and introspection feel more like a relief than anything else. She hits an ugly rock bottom before finally getting her act together and it’s not very entertaining.

If you’re sensitive to negative content or you’re considering watching this film with teens, you should take the 13+ rating seriously. There are repeated scenes of alcohol consumption and intoxication, in one case leading to a messy fight between two women. There’s also some sexual innuendo (including a proposition for a transactional open marriage) and brief, mild violence, as well as just under three dozen profanities. None of the content is extreme for the genre, but it’s not as clean as it is banal.

The movie is also hobbled by a labored script and some weak acting. Shuang Hu ably projects self-absorbed anxiety but she often seems to be doing a bad impression of Renee Zellweger (seriously, some of her facial expressions are identical). Renee Lim overdoes it as the icy tiger mother, and Ilai Swindells is over the top as the stereotypical “gay best friend”, although he manages to imbue their friendship with some emotional weight. There’s a made-for-TV feel here and it’s obvious why Five Blind Dates is running on Netflix and not playing at your local multiplex. It doesn’t have the magic it needs to charm its way onto a big screen.