Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square Parent Guide

Upon her father’s death six months previously, Regina (Christine Baranski) inherited a small town in the middle of middle America. But Regina has some unhappy memories of the place and decides to sell the land off to a mall developer – which means sending out eviction notices that take effect on Christmas Eve. Thankfully, Angel (Dolly Parton), a real honest-to-goodness angel is on hand to try to get Regina back on track and save both Christmas and the town. Getting Regina to learn from her past is going to take some doing and even a heavenly messenger might need some reinforcements to make this Christmas merry.

This is a film so absurdly clichéd that even Netflix tags it as “campy”, which is undoubtedly the point. Christmas on the Square is quintessentially a Hallmark-style made-for-TV Christmas movie. Bad expository dialogue, absurd melodrama, limited sets, and unconvincing acting are all present in full force. I think that it’s Christmas on the Square because that’s the largest chunk of town they could pack into the obvious sound stage.

Ordinarily, I’d perform major surgery on myself rather than sit through this kind of saccharine holiday drivel, but Dolly Parton gives this movie at least some watchability. Sure, she’s responsible for the irritating musical numbers, but I can forgive her for it because she’s also a genuinely amazing person. She has done some incredible charitable work and donates huge amounts of her wealth to causes she feels passionately about. I’m not a fan of her music (although even I will admit that 9 to 5 is a bop), but I am a fan of Dolly Parton as a person.

There’s almost nothing for parents to be concerned about here – this is basically a Yuletide after-school-special. Regina is briefly shown drinking at a bar, although she only has one drink. There are references to teen pregnancy, but this is described as a terrible mistake and there is no on-screen activity. Profanity is limited to a handful of mild curses and nothing more.

If you’re looking for a melodramatic musical version of A Christmas Carol, this is exactly the movie for you. For everyone else, the clunky and expository dialogue is probably going to make you want to eat a Tide pod. If you think you can stick it out and you appreciate the film’s earnest sincerity, you’ll find some comfort in the thought that the profits which accrue to Dolly Parton will likely end up doing something worthwhile. However, if you aren’t up for sitting through this Christmas-with-a-country-twang movie but still want to pump up its viewer numbers, you can try playing it in the background with the sound off while you do something else. I think the Spirit of Christmas Present would approve…