Dear Evan Hansen Parent Guide

You would think it would have been hard to sell a script about suicide as a Broadway play, let alone one that is also a musical. But five years later, Dear Evan Hansen has won enough accolades that it has been adapted for the big screen. So, how successfully does this story sing its way around the snares of this sensitive topic? Your answer will likely depend upon your own personal experiences with a huge range of emotional fireballs and the mental madness that accompanies adolescent life.

Evan Hansen (played by the original stage actor, Ben Platt) is a teen barely coping with a confluence of anxiety, depression, and major social awkwardness. His therapist has encouraged him to write a daily letter to himself to help build his confidence. He begins on day one of his senior year, but his note-to-self isn’t very happy. His only crush, Zoe (Kaitlyn Dever) happens to be the younger sister of Conner (Colton Ryan), another troubled youth who targets Evan in the hallway. At day’s end, after authoring his thoughts, Evan clicks print, and the anything-but-private school printer delivers the paper into Conner’s hands. When Conner notices the mention of his sister in the text, he is irate and pockets the paper. Evan is convinced the note, which concludes with wondering if the world would even miss him, will wind up on social media.

Three days later there’s no sign of the letter or Conner. And that’s when Evan is asked to meet with Conner’s parents (Amy Adams, Daniel Pino). The distraught couple shares the news that Conner has taken his life. The only clue they have about their son’s final thoughts is a scrap of paper found in his jacket pocket with the salutation, “Dear Evan Hansen”. Although a stammering Evan tries to correct their misconception, he can’t quite bring himself to disappointing Conner’s mother who is clinging desperately to the comforting notion that her son at least had one good friend—Evan Hansen. With the allure of being able to provide some solace for Conner’s family, Evan’s muddled mind begins fabricating the tale of a best friend, a loving son and an appreciative brother. With the passing weeks, forged emails embellished with Hallmark-worthy sentiments become Conner’s revised eulogy. In turn, Evan finds himself wrapped in the love of a new family that includes his crush and a home life that puts his single mother’s (Julianne Moore) faltering efforts to shame.

Ultimately, your evaluation of this movie will depend on your feelings of empathy or disgust for Evan. I found myself whispering, “Don’t do it!” when this young man begins his slide into a canyon of lies. Yet, it would be wrong to discount Evan’s emotional distress, mental illness, and desperate need for love and acceptance. At the very least his dilemma is great reason to engage in a soul-searching discussion about whether or not you would buckle to similar pressure if all things were equal.

Geared towards a teen and adult audience, the film includes depictions of prescription drug use, mentions of substance abuse, some sexual innuendo and dialogue, along with infrequent profanity (including one sexual expletive). While suicide is front and center in the plot, there are no portrayals of self-harm on screen.

Viewers may be a little distracted by Ben Platt (and his make-up) because the actor, in his late twenties, doesn’t really look like a high school senior. Kaitlyn Dever, who plays his love interest, is only a couple years younger than Platt, yet she fits the age more believably.

Still, the story deserves credit for casting its sights beyond Evan’s plight, by exploring some of the challenges faced by other characters who are also dealing with issues of mental health, grief, and abandonment, as well as feelings of inadequacy and failure. While the challenges of the living may overshadow those of the dead (meaning the plight of Connor’s character is often forgotten), that focus mirrors the intended message of the movie which is really about noticing those around us who are struggling and vowing to be there for them.

A reminder that each of us carries, or has carried, an unwanted burden, Dear Evan Hansen succeeds at opening a much-needed conversation about a sensitive subject. And its memorable songs have the potential to continue to provide emotional support long after the credits roll.

About author

Rod Gustafson

Rod Gustafson has worked in various media industries since 1977. He founded Parent Previews in 1993, and today continues to write and broadcast the reviews in newspapers, on radio and (of course) on the Internet. His efforts also include writing and researching media in all its forms and observing how it effects society and culture. He and his wife Donna have four children.