Bliss Parent Guide

Greg’s (Owen Wilson) life is coming apart at the seams. His wife has left him, his son Arthur (Jorge Lendeborg Jr.) won’t talk to him, and he just got fired. Worse, he startled his boss (Steve Zissis), who slipped and fell, fatally cracking his skull. After hiding the body in the office, Greg retreats to the bar across the street to make a plan – only to bump into Isabel (Selma Hayek), who seems shocked to see him for the simple reason that he is “real”. As far as Isabel is concerned, this world is just a simulation, and there are only a handful of real people in it at any time. After taking some of the crystals she offers (which are supposed to unlock different powers within the simulation), Greg starts to come around to her point of view. The couple start living off-grid under an overpass, taking special crystals and having fun. But Greg’s daughter, Emily (Nesta Cooper) is concerned about him and tries repeatedly to convince him that the world is real. But what will Greg believe?

Bliss is, put bluntly, a disaster. The script is incredibly spotty, alternating between average and laughable, and that puts the cast in a bad position. Not that they need the help, since Owen Wilson and Selma Hayek, for all their individual acting achievements, have almost no chemistry with each other. I didn’t have high expectations for this movie, but this managed to drunkenly limbo under an already subterranean bar. It’s almost impressive.

I also don’t find the alleged utopia terribly convincing. First of all, it’s a sure sign that you’re in hell if people are walking around wearing trilbys. Second, eccentric Slovenian philosopher (and sometime film critic) Slavoj Žižek turns up, which is certainly an indication that your utopia has some problems. Bill Nye also appears on screen which improves things slightly – but only because I grew up on Bill Nye and love him more than several members of my family. (Your affection for the Science Guy may vary.)

Obviously, the content makes this unsuitable for a younger audience, but they’re not missing anything here. The stupid script and wooden romance make this unbearable for adults, and the lazy philosophy doesn’t help any. There are a lot of “simulation theory” style movies out there, and this just doesn’t compete with the others on any ground. Bliss is, in a word, sophomoric. And that’s assuming that the writer is a real college sophomore and wrote the script with a blinding hangover before printing it out and forcing his classmates in a first-year creative writing course to trudge through it. Trust me, I took one of those courses. I’ve read stuff like this…and worse, if you can believe it.