Angel Has Fallen Parent Guide

Having now saved the President twice, in increasingly dramatic fashion, Mike Banning (Gerard Butler) is starting to feel the consequences. Plagued by migraines and dizziness, and suffering from compressed vertebrae, Banning is starting to see the appeal of a nice, sedentary desk job. President Trumbull (Morgan Freeman) also wants him to move to a desk, as Director of the Secret Service. Those plans are put on hold when an attempt is made on the President’s life, which kills everyone on the Protection Detail except for the President and Banning. Worse still, Banning finds himself framed as a Russian agent who accepted ten million dollars to kill the President. Banning is now on the run to escape the authorities, uncover the conspiracy, and, most importantly, prevent a future attempt on Trumbull’s life.

None of the films in this series have qualified as inspired cinema, and this is no exception. The plot is right out of a dusty can labelled “Action Thriller No.2”, and I could confidently predict the entire story within the first quarter of an hour. Frankly, I expect any half-conscious six year old could have done it within twenty minutes anyway, so that’s hardly an achievement on my part.

Speaking of the script, it must have been the easiest ever job for the two writers - yes, somehow this required the combined brainpower of two living human beings. Almost the entire script is either the f-word or scatological terms, stitched together with a loose assortment of exposition and less colorful profanities. When the dialogue doesn’t seem up to the task of keeping the audience awake, you can rely on something exploding, someone being shot, or a knife fight breaking out. More than anything, it feels like a bottom-shelf video game that someone decided to film.

It seems fitting that Banning suffers from migraines - I developed one quite early on, due mostly to the shaky camera and execrable editing, and I didn’t want to feel like I was suffering alone. Unfortunately, Banning’s migraines disappear from the plot somewhere around the halfway mark, but mine only intensified. I guess I can’t expect too much from a character so two dimensional he becomes invisible if viewed in profile.

There really isn’t a compelling reason to see this movie, in theaters or otherwise. I mean, unless you’re a masochist with two hours to kill. In which case, this is perfect for you. Loud, simplistic, aggravating, and far too long for its mindless plot, Angel Has Fallen had me ready to run out of the theater and play in traffic. Unless that appeals to you, you should just stay home.