The Last Days of American Crime Parent Guide
Netflix: For two and a half agonizing hours, this film runs a clinic on bad screenwriting, wooden acting, and the fine art of the non sequitur. And it soaks it all in blood.
Parent Movie Review
In The Last Days of American Crime, the United States has devised a solution to its growing problem with domestic terrorism and crime – a broadcast signal which prevents anybody from knowingly breaking the law. Seeing the end of their livelihood in sight, bank robber Graham Brick (Edgar Ramirez), crime lord’s son Kevin Cash (Michael Pitt), and expert hacker Shelby Dupree (Anna Brewster) get together and plan one last grand heist – the last crime in American history.
Let me start with the content concerns before I get too distracted and start ranting. There is no circumstance in which anybody should watch this movie, and that goes double for children. There are constant portrayals of gruesome violence, torture, graphic sex scenes, drug use, and enough profanity that I began to wonder if the screenwriter had heard of any other adjectives… or, for that matter, proper nouns or verbs. On top of all that, the only female character with any real screen time is treated as little more than a convenient sex object, occasionally branching out into “damsel in distress” territory. Even in this foul year of our Lord 2020, I would have expected more. This blood-soaked, sexually creepy, profanity-laced cinematic disaster richly deserves its TV-MA rating. My only regret is that there is no more restrictive TV rating and that my web program doesn’t allow me to give a grade lower than a “D-“. Trust me, if I could give this film an “F”, I certainly would.
One of the perils of this job (which is otherwise pretty cushy) is that, from time to time, I have to sit through some truly unbearable films. This one is bad enough that I’m thinking of applying for hazard pay. For two and a half hours, this movie runs a clinic on bad screenwriting, wooden acting, and the fine art of the non-sequitur. Not only is it a mess, it’s a boring and confusing mess. There are enough plot holes in this movie that you could use the script to drain pasta.
Having taken a number of creative writing classes in university, I’m more than familiar with janky and derivative student writing. The Last Days of American Crime is a prime example of what would happen if you took the worst undergraduate writing project, ran it through Google Translate three or four times, printed it out, and filmed it in its unedited incoherence. Not only are the characters phenomenally dull (I think Bricke was named for an object of similar charisma and interest), their actions are borderline random at times, and any plot “twists” just feel like the logical conclusion of their previous erratic behavior. The only real fun to be had in this movie is laughing hysterically as you watch South African filming locations try to masquerade as Detroit and its neighboring Canadian city, Windsor.
The Last Days of American Crime is a masterclass in incompetence. More than that, it’s an offensive and uninteresting masterclass in incompetence, and I’d like to sue the director for 149 minutes of my life back, along with the potentially permanent damage to the logic center of my brain. I could have had more fun sitting in the backyard and throwing rocks at my own toes. I cannot think of a single reason why anybody even slightly more alert than your average coma patient would sit through this whole movie – except, of course, the reason I did, which is money. Unless you’re getting paid to watch this, save yourselves.Directed by Olivier Megaton. Starring Edgar Ramirez, Anna Brewster, and Michael Pitt. Running time: 148 minutes. Theatrical release June 5, 2020. Updated August 31, 2020
The Last Days of American Crime
Rating & Content Info
Violence: Individuals are frequently shot, beaten, stabbed, and burned. On two occasions, people are deliberately set on fire. An individual is struck in the head with an ax. Several individuals are blown up. An individual deliberately grinds a lit cigar into a man’s nipple, which beyond being violent, is super gross to watch. Several people are struck by a car and killed. A man falls on a large piece of glass which impales him through the neck.
Sexual Content: A woman is shown dancing topless on a car. There are two sex scenes, one of which is clothed, and the other of which decidedly isn’t. There is a scene of attempted rape.
Profanity: There are 134 extreme profanities, 28 scatological terms, and dozens of other profanities which I couldn’t be bothered to count.
Alcohol / Drug Use: Individuals are shown drinking and smoking tobacco products. An individual is shown snorting cocaine. An individual is forced to take heroin.
Page last updated August 31, 2020
The Last Days of American Crime Parents' Guide
Do. Not. Watch. This. With. Your. Family. (Or alone, for that matter.) Just don’t.
The most recent home video release of The Last Days of American Crime movie is June 6, 2020. Here are some details…
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There are plenty of more appropriate movies about heists and crime. The Old Man and the Gun, starring Robert Redford, depicts a bank robber who approaches retirement, but continues to treat people very courteously – even those he robs. Based on a true story, Stockholm explores the bank robbery that lent its location to the term “Stockholm Syndrome”. For adult audiences, Baby Driver, directed by Edgar Wright, shows a young man who has been involved in crime since his youth and tries to find a way out.
Real world films about police states are also easy to find. Detroit highlights the events which occurred at the Algiers Hotel during the 12th Street Riots in 1967.
Near-future American dystopias are also a common scenario in films. Blade Runner, set in far-off 2019, sees L.A. cop Rick Deckard (Harrison Ford) on the hunt of rogue androids. Its sequel, Blade Runner 2049, explores more of that distant future. Perhaps the closest alternative to this film is In a Scanner Darkly, based on the Phillip K. Dick (the same man who wrote the story which inspired Blade Runner, incidentally) novel of the same name. The film explores a drug epidemic in the United States, and the highly intrusive high-tech police response. With much stronger character writing and a strong look at the morality of the situation, this is a far better alternative. It was also entirely rotoscoped in post-production, giving it an uncanny animated look, which supports the strangeness of the story.