StarDog and TurboCat Parent Guide

In 1969, a dog named Buddy blasts into space, but something goes wrong and he winds up frozen. Fifty years later, Buddy wakes up back on Earth in a town called Glenfield, where animals and humans don’t get along. He soon discovers that the shuttle’s experimental fuel gave him superpowers. On the hunt for his former owner, Buddy meets TurboCat, a Batman-like vigilante who is fighting back against animal-hating humans. Together they must use their superpowers to defeat an evil scientist and prove that animals are good.

I think I gained a few new lines in my forehead today, as I spent 90 minutes with a confused expression on my face. StarDog and TurboCat is completely nonsensical, even by children’s movie standards. I personally believe this film should be shown in screenwriting classes as an example of what not to do. New ideas and storylines keep getting added on to the plot almost until the very end, none of them making any real sense, while some of the biggest plot points remain unresolved. Basically, an entire town has been convinced by their police chief that all animals are dangerous and should not be kept as pets or be allowed to roam free. However, it’s been established that the internet exists in this world. There is no way a town with access to the internet would fall in line with an anti-animal agenda. Have you been on the internet? It’s like two-thirds cats. Every five minutes there’s a new character in the movie, but none of them are developed further. The story is unfocused and lacks cohesion. To sum up, I’m 80% sure this was written by a fourth grader, because that’s the level of writing we’re seeing here.

On a positive note, the animation is better than expected for a production of this size. An odd choice that kind of ruins it, unfortunately, is that the dogs and cats in this world are all bipedal. It’s unsettling to watch a dog have the posture of a human but still have the physiology of a canine. It’s kind of like the newest film version of Cats, but less unholy because at least this is meant to look like a cartoon.

In terms of content, you can expect standard slap-stick cartoon violence. There’s a lot of physical comedy with falls, running into things, and getting hit in the crotch by various projectiles. It is a superhero story so it’s full of lasers, gadgets, and explosions, but no real guns. There are a fair number of insults including “stupid”, “doofus”, “idiot”, and “moron”. I think the positive message StarDog and TurboCat is trying to get across is the importance of teamwork, but it’s not overly clear, like most things in this film.

My three-year-old was entertained enough to sit for 90 minutes and he claimed to have liked it, but I’ve also never heard him say he didn’t like anything animated, so take that as you will. This is a painful watch for an adult, so I don’t recommend it for your next family movie night, and I wouldn’t bet on the older elementary crowd to sit through it either. That said, it’s innocuous enough that you can throw it on for the young ones and not have to worry about it. If you can find it for free, there’s no harm in it, but I don’t recommend paying for it. I’m sure you can find more interesting things to do with your hard earned cash.