Dungeons & Dragons Parent Guide

Okay, okay… I’ve never played the game, and any time someone has tried to explain it to me, I came away wondering if they’d been exposed to a brainwashing device.

Maybe you need some indoctrination to really appreciate this movie, because without it, Dungeons & Dragons is merely a confusing story about idealistic Princess Savina (Thora Birch) who thinks Mages (people capable of magic) should have the same rights as commoners. On the other side, evil Profion (Jeremy Irons) has dark designs to rule the land of Izmer by making Savina and her abracadabra associates disappear.

Somewhere in this mess Marina (Zoe McLellan), a Mage apprentice, comes to Savina with a magical map. Enlisting the help of a large dwarf named Elwood (Lee Arenberg), an elf named Norda (Kristen Wilson) who dresses in the stereotypical medieval metal bra complete with torpedo breasts, and two common thieves—Ridley (Justin Whalin) and Snails (Marlon Wayans), this rag-tag team hope to navigate their way to a magical scepter with power to control the dragons of Izner, and charbroil Profion’s plans. Their pursuit is plagued by obstacles, thanks to Profion’s minions and head thug Damodar (Bruce Payne). But when characters started falling into the magic map, I knew I was lost in the woods.

The look of this movie is as mixed up as the plot. Scenes either take place on the 100th floor of a huge spiraling tower in a massive city (like something out of Star Wars), or in a medieval village and it’s surrounding countryside. Were they trying to capture a timeless feeling? Meanwhile, the actors spout lines that are so melodramatic that at one point I thought Jeremy Irons was going to break into laughter and declare the whole thing a spoof.

Yet I suspect even those with an extensive knowledge of the actual role-playing game may accuse this movie of using a popular name to sell an otherwise lame story. Full of sensational fantasy violence including a fairly graphic death and other human to human conflict, this movie does deliver dungeons and it certainly did drag-on.

About author

Rod Gustafson

Rod Gustafson has worked in various media industries since 1977. He founded Parent Previews in 1993, and today continues to write and broadcast the reviews in newspapers, on radio and (of course) on the Internet. His efforts also include writing and researching media in all its forms and observing how it effects society and culture. He and his wife Donna have four children.