Christmas Is Canceled Parent Guide

Back home after a research retreat in Africa, Emma (Hayley Orrantia) slips into her role of helpful daughter to her father, Jack (Dermot Mulroney). Still grieving for her mother, who died two years ago, Emma finds comfort in spending time with her dad and reliving her memories of happier times. With Christmas coming, Emma looks forward to enjoying all their favorite traditions together. Then Brandy (Janel Parrish) walks up the path to their front door…

A “frenemy” from high school, Brandy is not a welcome sight. Dislike is replaced by full blown horror when Emma learns that this is not a casual visit: Brandy and Jack are romantically involved, and Brandy will be joining them for the holiday. Enraged at the thought of sharing Christmas with an interloper, Emma deploys the nuclear option and swears to end this relationship before it destroys her family.

Only one question came to mind as I watched this film: “Why was it made?” There is nothing original, clever, or funny in the script. (I laughed at one – only one – joke in the entire runtime.) We’ve all seen variations of the story before: jealous person tries to destroy a relationship before deciding that the other person’s happiness matters more than their own goals. Yawn.

The uninspired script is matched by the flat acting. Dermot Mulroney is so robotic as Jack that he seems sedated. Hayley Orrantia’s performance as Emma is perplexing: the character’s behavior is emotionally extreme and unbalanced, but her portrayal is almost entirely colorless. The rationales behind her bizarre actions are poorly explained and not entirely convincing.

If you still think this holiday relationship flick sounds fun, let me give you a warning about the negative content. There are close to two dozen profanities in the movie – there might be more but I kept zoning out and rewinding the film so it’s highly possible I missed a few. (In movies this boring, drifting off is an occupational hazard for film critics.) The film also “gifts” viewers with an abundance of innuendo, including frequent crude language and sex references. In one scene, characters take turns coining slang terms to describe female genitals. Another scene sees a man having his back adjusted; the conversation is entirely made up of innuendo about gay sex. There is also a sex scene where a woman climbs on top of a man who removes her clothing: no nudity or explicit behavior is visible. Throw in a party that glorifies drinking games and intoxication, and this film is not teen-friendly. It doesn’t have an MPAA rating, but it sits on the very high end of the PG-13 rating.

One of the guilty pleasures of the holidays is settling down with emotionally rewarding movies. Whether they’re familiar classics that let you wallow in nostalgia, or syrupy romantic dramas, or new festive fare, these movies can become an important part of our Christmas traditions. Canceled for Christmas does not belong in that seasonal rotation: instead of being a warm, fuzzy holiday film, it’s the lump of coal in the bottom of your stocking.