Whatever It Takes
Perhaps there's a new software product called InstaScript that's selling big in Hollywood. To make this movie, simply feed in keywords like teenager, high school, prom, and booze. Then ensure character choices include two females: one rich and self-indulgent, one attractive but rejected. And males: Three jocks, three geeks, and a geek-but-jock wannabe. Next, turn the sex setting to extra-super-duper, but make sure the PG-13 button is turned on (or who knows what may happen). InstaScript is conveniently programmed to recognize that audiences love to hate popular people, laugh at geeks watching pornography, and cheer underdogs who get vengeance in the end. So, push print and voila! Out comes a perfectly formatted script that will impress the studio soooo much, they won't notice the missing plot.
Instascript will do 'Whatever It Takes' to get your movie made. Note the wardrobe department will save extra dollars with costumes that use minimal fabric to clothe the star females. Notice also the scene where the girl that is willing to have sex with any man who treats her badly (a great portrayal for young female audiences to follow...) is camped on the front lawn of the guy she wants to take to the prom. The convincing way she flashes her almost naked body at him is bound to be a hit.
Meanwhile, your Miss Unpopular character will blossom into a full woman, especially when she leads her date to think she wants bondage sex on prom night. And how about that twist at the end? How could anyone guess those two would wind up together?
And you'll love the way InstaScript fills in the other 90 minutes of your script by reusing classic movie scenes. Sure, you may know about Cyrano de Bergerac's trick of telling his buddy what to say to the girl. And yes, you've seen the swimming pool idea in It's A Wonderful Life, but don't worry. Nobody coming to see the movies you make with InstaScript is going to be old or wise enough to ever suspect that the following movie has been recycled to fit their screen.