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Vampires Suck


Latest Home Video

Nov 30, 2010

MPAA Rating:


Run Time:



Jason Friedberg

Aaron Seltzer


Jenn Proske

Matt Lanter

Diedrich Bader

Chris Riggi


2010 Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation

Official Website >>

Still shot from the movie: Vampires Suck.

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Overall D
Run Time82

Making the Grades

Since the book release in 2005, Twilight has had a polarizing effect on the general public despite spending over 91 weeks on the New York Times Best Seller List. The first film debuted in 2008 in sold out theaters and grossed over $392 million worldwide. But not everyone bought into the craze. So considering the phenomenal success of the Twilight franchise, it is amazing it has taken the writing team of Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg this long to lampoon the vampire trilogy for the sake of those who dislike the glittery image of Edward. What recent film series is riper for the ribbing?

Jenn Proske plays the brooding and angst-ridden Becca Crane with the same stammering, incomplete sentences and constant hair tucking that the Belle Swan character has become known for. The other cast members, Matt Lanter as Edward Sullen, Diedrich Bader as Becca’s father Frank and Chris Riggi as the shirt-sluffing Jacob, recreate their more famous counterparts with a certain amount of comedic precision. And the script doesn’t miss the opportunity to poke fun at some of the more unexplainable points of the original story. Why, in fact, does the morose new girl at school attract so much attention from not one but two boys?

Unfortunately the scriptwriters, best known for the crass humor in Date Movie, Scary Movie, Disaster Movie and Meet the Spartans, let the real possibilities of this parody slip through their fingers. Rather than penning an original storyline that could stand on its own while taking jabs at the series, they randomly pluck lines and scenes from the trilogy and slap them together with excessive, farcical violence. The scenes portray characters being beheaded, impaled with a pitchfork, hit with a shovel and pierced in the head with a spiked bat. Unending crude sexual innuendos and comments are also included, along with some male buttock nudity and inappropriate comments from a father to his daughter.

Using up all their good gags and one-liners in the first 40 minutes, the plot lags during the final act as Becca strives to stop Edward from exposing himself (literally) to the evil leaders of the vampire underground (Mike Mayhall, Ken Jeong, Bradley Dodds) and the entire crowd at her high school prom. But by that point in the movie, any reason to engage in this overwrought attempt to mock the undead has long been sucked dry.


Discussion Ideas After The Movie

Teaching ideas and topics to discuss about Vampires Suck.

Its been said that imitation is the highest form of flattery. Do you think Vampires Suck is an example of creative or lazy writing? How can spoofs promote critical thinking about media? Do they sometimes help audiences see the absurdity of a plot?

Which actor do you think best captured the essence of his or her character?

Trailers & Clips

Canadian Movie Ratings

PG Violence, Coarse Language.
AB 14A Crude Content.
MB 14A Not Recommended for Children, Violence.
ON PG Language May Offend.
QC G Not Recommended for Young Children.

Canadian Home Video Rating: PG

Watch @ Home

Details on home video releases of Vampires Suck...

Vampires Suck is releasing on DVD and Blu-ray on November 30, 2010.

Both DVD and Blu-ray versions offer:

- Theatrical Version of film

- Extended Unrated Version of film

- Deleted Scenes

- Gag Reel

- Theatrical Trailer

Vampires Suck 2-Disc Blu-ray also includes:

- BD Live – What’s New

- Digital Copy of film

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boo9641 says: Aug. 19, 2010

Here’s a sample of what your children are going to hear if they go see the movie “Vampires Suck”- PG13):
Fifteen minutes into the movie….
A father is driving with his daughter and says “You’ve really turned into a fine young lady since I last saw you.” She smiles shyly, and he smiles back; grinning creepily, he looks at her chest and says “I mean just look at your xxxx- they’re huge!”.
Thirty minutes into the movie…...
A girl at school says to another, ” Hi, I’m (whoever) and I’m going to pretend to be your new best friend; but if you xxxx my boyfriend’s xxxx, I’ll cut you!”.
I won’t offend you with any further examples of the crass language in this movie. Here’s the bottom line- this movie is the most offensive thing I have ever seen in a movie theater. EVER. Let me say that once more. EVER. I know that our children are exposed to things we weren’t as children. I know the times have changed and sometimes we as parents need to go with the flow. I myself am a fairly progressive parent. But this movie is just too much.

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