Star Wars: Episode II - Attack Of The Clones

We've heard about wars, striking back, and menaces before, yet The Force has always delivered family friendly content. Considering this Star Wars is titled Attack of the Clones, and knowing the young Jedi's life is destined to go sour, it's natural to assume things may get violent... but how much?

Picking up ten years after Episode I, Queen Amidala (Natalie Portman) is now a senator. Her hard-line stance against a growing separatist movement within the Galactic Republic has hardly aged her, while Anakin (Hayden Christensen) has sprouted into a young man. Apart since the credits rolled in the last movie, the couple is reunited under the supervision of Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor), when the master and apprentice are asked to protect the politician from an unknown assassin.

Openly crooning for her love, Anakin puts his heart before his mind, giving Obi-Wan good reason to frequently correct him while they search for Amidala's enemy. But instead of narrowing their suspicions, a far wider problem is revealed. On the other side of the universe, countless human clones are being readied to fulfill an order supposedly made by the Jedi Council a decade ago. At the same time, the mysterious Count Dooku (Christopher Lee) -- the newest player for the Dark Side -- has seemingly endless robotic battle-droids in his inventory.

When Amidala's life is threatened, Anakin Skywalker is assigned to be her bodyguard. But staying out of harms way is not a talent possessed by either of them. Thanks to a few rash decisions, the Republic is soon swept up into the Attack of the Clones in what is undoubtedly the most violent Star Wars film to date.

Yup... it has all the makings of a showdown at the galactic corral.

But the ultimate ruler, George Lucas, is involved in a different battle. Always wanting to push technical limits, it seems he's forgotten why we came to theaters 20 years ago -- to see a great story where three principal characters had sparks flying between them. In contrast, this film's pathetic performances deliver a love interest that smolders worse than an X-Wing on diesel.

However the real smoke may be from the many parents who assume anything Star Wars will be appropriate for children. Instead droid decapitations, human dismemberment, and countless combat scenes create one of the most violent PG-rated movies ever. Fortunately there is a near-lack of profanities and sexual content. Still, lets hope the next outing isn't a clone of this episode.