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Milk Money

MPAA Rating:


Still shot from the movie: Milk Money.

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Overall D
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Making the Grades

Throughout this "PG-13 family movie," I had to keep questioning who the intended audience was, as that factor makes a big difference in how I rate a film. I am much more concerned about a movie that presents adult sexual situations to an audience of children than to an audience of adults. That's why I'm concerned about Milk Money.

The story is about three boys roughly twelve years old who save every cent they have so they can go into the big city and get a prostitute to undress. After finding "V", they give her the money and she does what she is asked to. One of the boys, Frank, decides that he is too polite to look and takes pity on V. Soon Frank has her living in his tree-house (I'm sparing you the details), and thinks V would make the perfect replacement for his mother who died during his birth. His dad is a nice science teacher, who is too busy trying to save wetlands to even notice his son's new friend, who Frank claims is a math tutor.

This movie is chock full of stupid situations involving kids and sex. Frank has to do a major project on the female reproductive system for school, or he's in big trouble. How many twelve year olds are required to do such nonsense? So Frank gets V into his class without the teacher there, locks the door, and proceeds to draw the reproductive system on V's body, using a felt marker. During this time the teacher watches through the glass door, helpless to stop the situation.

All the parents and teachers in this movie are fools, with the only sane people being the prostitutes, kids, and the nice Maffia man. There is non-stop sexual innuendo, rear nudity, and language descriptive of sexual situations. All this rolled up with a nice little story about a boy who wants a mother, and a father who wants to save nature. Don't be fooled with this one.

Canadian Movie Ratings

Not Rated
AB Not Rated
MB Not Rated
ON Not Rated
QC Not Rated
Not Rated

Canadian Home Video Rating: NA

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