Recovering from a bad breakup, Jen Kornfeldt (Katherine Heigl) is stuck vacationing in Nice with her over protective father and constantly imbibing mother (Tom Selleck and Catherine O’Hara). The young woman is happy to finally have a moment alone in the elevator, until the doors open to reveal Spencer Aimes (Ashton Kutcher), a handsome young man with big muscles and no shirt. Suddenly desiring company, Jen gasps her way through some awkward small talk until she gets a dinner invitation. This chance meeting marks the beginning of a whirlwind romance that leads to marriage and a big house in the suburbs.
The only problem with the speed of their relationship is there are a few things Spencer hasn’t found the time to tell Jen. Probably the most important item is his past employment as a professional killer. To his credit, he did try to confess on their first date—but she fell asleep. Although he promptly resigned after falling for the beautiful blonde, retiring from the assassination business isn’t the easiest thing to do.
Three years into living happily ever after, the reformed hit man is once again contacted by his former boss. Spencer is quick to turn down the proposed assignment, not realizing his refusal will lead to a $20 million bounty being placed on his head. After other guns for hire hear about the reward, his once peaceful neighborhood transforms into a war zone where hedge clippers are replaced by automatic weapons and SUVs are used to mow down people.
Of course all of this is a complete surprise for poor Jen when she stumbles upon her husband locked in mortal combat with a coworker. Between flying punches and stabbing knifes, Spencer attempts to explain the reason why their best friends have unexpectedly turned into their worst enemies.
Discovering she’s tied the knot with some sort of ex-spy is not good news for the usually cautious woman, and probably won’t impress family viewers either. As the mayhem escalates, with impalings, shootings, explosions, vehicle collisions, and strangulations, so does the amount of blood and carnage seen on the screen. While the violence is portrayed in a comedic context, it is increasingly difficult to see what is so funny about murder and betrayal.
The plot also aims to get laughs by including frequent sexual comments, references to pornography and depictions of alcoholism. As well, frequent profanities and the use of a sexual hand gesture punctuate the script.
With a casual towards killing and showing no consequences, this silly and implausible story will most likely feel like a long 90 minutes of torture—leaving the audience wishing for a quick and painless death.