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Ever had to talk about yourself with a bunch of strangers only to realize your life seems well kind of boring? The fact is most of us spend a lot of our time in ordinary, even mundane activities. But for some people, the idea of being average is about as abhorrent as having head lice.
Mary Cep (Lindsay Lohan) is one of those people. At age 15, this New York drama queen (who goes by the name of Lola) considers herself to be the pivotal point of the universe. However, her position in the cosmos takes a nasty tumble when her single mother (Glenne Headly) plucks her and her twin sisters out of the center of the world (i.e. the Big Apple) and dumps them into suburban New Jersey, where all kinds of common things like grass and trees exist.
Dressed in a curious combination of headscarves, belts and fringed accessories, she shows up for her first day of school where she meets a mousy blonde named Ella (Alison Pill). Despite their dissimilar lifestyles, the two girls hit it off when they discover they are both ardent fans of the same rock band. Unfortunately, Lola doesn't click quite so well with the classic nasty high school villain, Carla (Megan Fox).
Not willing to merely blend in into her new surroundings, Lola takes to telling tales (read BIG lies) about her life in order to impress the other students. Her outfits, particularly a red, sequined, oh-so-short, body hugging dress and a pair of pelvis exposing hipsters, also generate a fair amount of attention just the kind of thing you want your teenage daughter sauntering down the street in.
The film offers the wholesome ideals of being true to yourself and following your dreams. However, the values are imparted in all the wrong ways. Lola's often-outrageous outbursts are supposed to be tolerated because of the treatment she endures from the popular girls. But while bullying is an act of violence that needs to be addressed, I'm not convinced Carla is the only one who should be facing harassment charges or that the movie's revengeful wrap up is necessary or true to life.
In addition to Lola's regrettable fashion choices and outlandish fabrications, the script also fails to let her experience the consequences of any of her choices. She and Ella wander alone down dark city streets, try to sneak in to a rock star's wild party and hang around with a drunken adult stranger, all without a lick of serious fallout. When payback time does come for her fallacious remarks, the film takes a turn that once again frees the storyteller from facing any real reckoning.
While parents may find this film free of any overtly objectionable material (besides a larger-than-life shot of a rocker's buttock and some seductive hip thrusts), the confessions of this teenage drama queen may be dodgy enough to keep families orbiting the theater in search of other stars.
Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen is rated PG: for mild thematic elements and brief language
Cast: Lindsay Lohan, Adam Garcia, Carol Kane