The Animal Parent Review
One of the patterns I've been noticing in PG-13 movies over the past while is the increasing inclusion of bestiality innuendo and scenarios. Knowing The Animal was a movie about a man who is made whole again after having animal parts transplanted into him, I was prepared for all manner of gross indecency--and rightly so.
Rob Schneider stars as Marvin Mange, a dopey cop-wannabe who is ridiculed by his co-workers and even some school children who tour the police station. Hoping to impress, he answers a desperate call for help from a Chinese restaurant owner being robbed. Sensing a heroic opportunity because the rest of the officers are out playing baseball, Marvin responds to the summons, but his poor high-speed driving skills send him hurtling down a cliff in a horrific crash. (We never know what became of the restaurant owner.)
Barely alive, Marvin is discovered by the strange Dr. Wilder (Michael Caton) who rebuilds his damaged body with animal parts. Unaware of donor sources, Marvin begins life again... with a peculiar desire to chase after dog toys and eat copious amounts of red meat, and a ravishing appetite for sex--with humans or animals. Yet, it's not all bad news. Marvin scores points toward his police officer dream after sniffing out a "body packer" in the airport and retrieving the mayor's young son from drowning. Even more amazing, he attracts the affection of Rianna (Colleen Haskell).
This poorly written comedy contains herds of toilet humor, lame lines (Rianna: "Oh Marvin... what's happening to you?") and stereotypical characters including dumb cops, raging homosexuals, and an African-American who is convinced he can get away with anything because he's the target of reverse discrimination.
But this Animal's greatest preoccupation is with sexual perversions--most of which are central to the humor of the film. If you're uncomfortable watching a man "come on to" a goat, being offered sex from a chimp in lingerie, or masturbating by rubbing against a mailbox (and that's in addition to an implied sexual relationship outside of marriage with a female human), then you'll likely want to leave this beast behind bars.Starring Rob Schneider. Running time: 84 minutes. Updated February 13, 2012
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The Animal Parents Guide
Bestiality is becoming an increasingly popular topic in PG-13 movies. Do you think the MPAA should rate sexual comments regarding this topic differently than the same comments made between humans?